It began to feel like a job. Another job to add to my growing list of daily tasks and I found myself wondering “why on earth am I doing this?!” And also and perhaps more importantly, “what am I getting from this?”

Instagram.

The place of beautifully captured and edited photographs, seemingly perfect lives and an algorithm that’s making it trickier than ever to be seen or heard by your friends, followers or fans.

I used to love this social media platform. But now? Well not so much.

Seven years ago when I first became acquainted with it, I used it often to capture and share photographs of my growing pregnant belly and my first journey into motherhood, happily popping a vintage filter over my photos of bump, new baby and even my face. I’ve always loved taking and looking at photographs so playing around with tints and filters was enjoyable and I’d share whenever the impulse came to do so or just for the sheer joy of it.

My first foray into the world of social media though was with Facebook. I was one of the last of my journalism work colleagues to create a profile but once I did, I was soon hooked.

Catching up with long lost friends from school and university and yes, having a little nosey at their lives too, was both comforting and a little addictive. Then, as the years went by and my blog developed, I created a Facebook page to share my latest posts and other bits and pieces and it worked wonders. My posts would be read and shared umpteen times across the network, bringing new readers to my site and boosting my audience.

It was great. And then it wasn’t so much. Things changed, as they inevitably do and now I find that Facebook is more about thumbs up then comments and to get a decent level of engagement, you often have to pay for it.

And then there is Twitter. (I know there are other social media platforms but for the sake of this post I’m concentrating on my big three.) Wonderful Twitter that at first I thought was pointless but soon fell head over heels for.

When I got to grasps with it properly around nine years ago as a new freelancer, I couldn’t get enough of it. An online place through which I met interesting people, made genuine friends, found numerous new clients and discovered great writing talent. It was all about the connection. But then that soon changed too.

Where once my feed was full of conversation, amusing snippets or heartfelt 140-character posts, it soon became saturated with endless self promotion. And whilst as an author, blogger and freelancer, I totally understand the nature of the beast and the importance of marketing, the constant shouting to be heard drove me away from the platform for a while. There was even a time when I considered jumping the Twitter-ship altogether.

Social media has changed. And whilst there’s a part of me that still loves it – and always will – for the connection and inspiration it so often brings, recently I’ve began to examine how I’m using it. And how often.

If you’re a creative person or self employed human like me, you will know, as well as I do, that love it or hate it, there really is no getting away from it. At least not entirely.

And honestly, from a work point of view, I do need it. As a working class woman trying to make it in a crowded creative environment, it’s enabled me to use my voice and put my work out there as well as my thoughts and for that I’ll always be thankful. Certainly you most probably wouldn’t be reading this post now without it and my debut book sales would have been woeful without the amplification of my social media big three.

And when it’s used as a force for good, well it can be remarkable. Same goes for making introductions, authentic connections and genuine friendships too. The big social media platforms are invaluable in many respects.

But as much as Instagram, Facebook and Twitter (alongside other platforms) can and do bring value to our lives, they also take things away from us. And this is what I’ve become much more aware of recently and what I urge you to think about too.

So when I caught myself fretting – like really fretting – over the lack of half decent photographs I had to share on Instagram a month or so ago and I asked myself those questions – “why am on earth am I doing this?” and “what on earth am I getting out of it?”,  I knew there and then that I had to stop. To pull back, relax and chill the hell out.

Because if social media is beginning to feel like a job or another thing on to your to do list and it’s beginning to occupy too much of your time or mental space, like it was for me, then it’s not adding to your life as it should do.

It’s only taking away.

If your balance is skewed and you find that your social media usage is effecting your life, wellbeing and dare I say it, even sanity, then this should be a wake up call. Certainly it has been so for me.

So for example… sharing a photograph on Instagram because I’m compelled to is one thing. But feeling that constant niggling pressure to snap, snap, snap and share, is something entirely different and not very pleasant. And I for one, don’t want to feel that way. For me, that’s not what social media should be about.

When it comes to Instagram, the biggest and most successful influencers say that you have to post at least one image a day to keep those numbers up and hold onto your engagement and I think they’re probably right.

Certainly when I don’t post for five or so days, my engagement tanks. Tanks! But in all honesty, and even bearing in mind that social media is a necessary part of my job and marketing activity, really, so what? Why have so many of us began to let numbers effect how we feel about our lives or success so much?

I’ve come to a point now, an understanding, that for me, I’d much rather my engagement tanked than my mental health declined and I sure as hell would rather lose some followers than waste more of my life on a social media platform that is forever raising the bar.

The key I think is balance and also not caring about it too much. As my wise Aunty would say “it is what it is.” Social media should work for us, not against us! It should add. Not take away.

Recently, I’ve pulled back a little on all my social media platforms including Instagram. I’m still there and will continue to pop up on them for the foreseeable but I’ve become much more relaxed about it and more organised for starters. Work wise, I now choose to stick to a manageable and effective plan that works well for me and on a personal level, I no longer feel compelled or stressed to be always ‘on’ or to have to reply to every comment or tweet.

For life is short and social media fickle. I’m happier playing by my own rules instead of constantly trying to keep up with ever changing games. And for the first time in a long time, I have began to feel that social media is adding more to my life than it is taking away.

I think people call this progress.

TIPS TO HELP KEEP YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA USAGE IN BALANCE

Here are some tips to help you if your social media usage or presence has gone out of whack!

• Turn off notifications! For the past two years I haven’t received any notifications popping up on my phone or laptop from social media, by choice, opting to only see any engagement when I choose to go into an app or onto a platform. This helps. A lot.
• Keep an eye on your usage and be aware of how you’re using it. If you constantly find yourself being endlessly distracted by it, it’s time to pull back.
• Only share if you a) need to (for work or personal purposes) or because you want to. Try and let go of that feeling that you have to post. You don’t! And bloggers/ creatives / influencers, yes to an extent that includes you too. We don’t have to be ‘on’ all of the time.
• Be mindful and think before you share. Social media is consuming and disruptive which means that we all need to be much more conscious of the kind of content we’re putting out there. So next time you feel the urge to rant or whinge or slate someone on social media, breathe and pause first and then ask yourself “do I really need to share this?” 
• Only follow accounts or people that you love, like or admire. (Use mute or unfollow options across the platforms to your advantage and don’t feel bad about it!)
• Don’t feel like you to have be on or use every platform. You don’t. Just choose the ones that work best for you and that you enjoy! And remember that you will always get different things from different platforms.
• Stop allowing it to take over your life. Endless scrolling, mindless tweeting, comparing your life to someone else’s carefully curated photos… if social media is taking up too much of your time, energy, headspace or just making you feel inadequate or anxious, you need to gain some control. Remember it’s supposed to ‘add’ to your life, not take away.
• Finally, don’t live your life for social media. (Yes there are people who do this.) You’ll always be much better off concentrating your efforts on living your life well and creating work that you can be proud of instead of putting all your energy into boosting follower numbers or gaining some Facebook comments. That I promise you.