THE other day a friend asked me this belter of a question.

And it stopped me in my tracks.

It’s not often that I am lost for words (as those who know me will testify!) but it was such a brilliant question, that I couldn’t actually answer it.

I mean, can you?

Try now for a second and see if you can do it.

Read the question again and see if you answer it, straight off the bat.

It’s not so easy is it?

It’s not so easy to think about the woman we want / are hoping / are trying to be.

I couldn’t answer the question at the time, which made my friend chuckle. Because I needed some time.

To sleep on it. To analyse. To ponder.

I don’t think I’ve ever been asked such a question that has made me think about myself quite so much.

Certainly not in recent years anyway. And I love it! Because not only does it really make me question myself, it’s also incredibly inspiring.


Well because it’s not about who I am right now, but about the woman I ‘want to be’. Or to put it a little better, the woman I ‘want to become’.

We’re all learning as we go, juggling priorities, making mistakes and figuring out what we can.

We’re all doing our best to get by and tackle whatever curve balls life lobs in our direction.

But what I love about this question, is the potential within it.

Both for you. And for me.

I’ve made some real humdingers of mistakes in my life and boy, oh boy, how I’ve paid for the consequences, but throughout all the dark, unpleasant times, I’ve always had a belief somewhere deep inside me, that I would be ok.

That I’d get through it.

That I would live. And that I would learn from whatever disastrous situation I’d put myself in at that time and become a better person as a result.

When I was at college and misbehaving a little by skipping classes and having too much fun, my form tutor once said to my Mum:

“You never have to worry about Katie. She is a born fighter and will always come out the other side.”

And do you know something? She was spot on.

I still take her words as one of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received. And today, am still amazed at how astute she was about my character.

Because I am a fighter.

Not with anyone else. But with myself.  I don’t know where that fire comes from or came from, but make no mistake, I’m thankful to have it.

Some may call me feisty, spirited or fearless, and perhaps they’re right. I just know I’m so incredibly grateful for that fire in my belly.

Not just because it’s got me out of more scrapes than you can imagine. But because it’s also the fuel that motivates and spurs me on.

To make more of myself.

To create a fulfilling life.

To become greater.

You might laugh, but I am on a mission to become a better woman.

I write posts for women that I think women would like to read, but also because I need to read them too!

I need to read that it’s ok to fail, that it’s normal to be envious, that it’s fine to feel like a rotten parent, just as much as you.

It might sound silly to some, but I want to be a great woman.

I want to be a woman who is respected, loved and remembered.

I don’t want to be ordinary. And I never have. (Which is probably why I got myself in so many scrapes).

So you see, when I was asked that question and found myself unable to answer it, it made me do lots of soul searching.

And it also gave me hope.

Because we truly can become any woman we wish to be. And we are shaping her right this very second.

Through the thoughts we have, the actions we take, the friends we make and the work we do.

ToDreamSuzanneFINAL 45

We can become the kind of woman we look up to and admire.

We can become the kind of woman that we dream about.

We can become the kind of woman that we find ourselves being envious of.

But we have to create her. We need a desire to change and a boldness to become her.

Want to be a better woman?

Then start today.

Do the very things that you are petrified of. Learn to stand on your own two feet.

Look at what hasn’t worked for you in the past and figure out what will, moving forward.

Embrace your faults and own them. Think about the influences you have in your life and be careful whom you spend time with.

Look in the mirror and love what you see!

When we are children we have so many dreams. So many wishes we hope will come true.

But along the way, we can lose our voices, we can become scared to be ourselves, we start to experience some of life’s hard knocks and we start to live life in survival mode instead of thrive-al mode. (Yep, I totally made that word up).

But you know, it’s never to late to be that woman, you’ve always wanted to be.

It’s never to late to become her.

It’s never to late to start to create her by aiming to become the very best version of you.

And as for me? Did I ever figure out my answer to that question?

Well yes I did. And my answer is very simple.

I want to be a woman of VALUE.

I want to give value to others. I want to hold myself in higher value. I want my life to have value.

That is what I am aiming for.

I’m off now to try and make that woman a reality, but not before I ask you again:

What kind of woman do YOU want to be?…

(*Listening and waiting for your answer*)


With love,



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35 Discussions on
  • Yes this is wonderful and so funny it feels like I spoke those words myself I often think about who I want to be and take a moment to really be grateful how far I have come. Brilliant and inspiring post xxx

    • Ah that’s brilliant Tanita! I think about it pretty much every day, ponder over what stuff that I’m not so happy about and try to make changes! I keep thinking – legacy, legacy, legacy. I love that you are the same. X

  • Amazing post Kate, very inspiring. I have goosebumps now. There is so much I want to say but can’t… actually I’m going to DM you. Have a gorgeous weekend xx

    • Woooo for the goosebumps! Brilliant stuff, thank you. Got your email, have replied. Best of luck xx

  • A woman with value is exactly it! I had to stop reading to have a think about the kind of woman I want to become and then you hit the nail on the head.
    I’ve never been asked that question before! It’s a good one.

    • It really is. Stopped me in my tracks, for sure. It’s got to be about value, hasn’t it?!x

  • Kate again with the inspiring post!
    Like Sarah I stopped reading to think and I don’t know the final answer (like you I need more time) but I DO know I want to be a woman whose life matters. A woman who appreciates the bounty of life in all its complexity and knows that it matters. A woman who makes a difference because she knows doing that for others matters. A woman who relishes the small moments because they matter. Thank you for starting me on this inner journey xxx

    • Ah Michelle, I don’t think you need much help from me. Your journey already began a long, long time ago. :) X

  • I do love your writing, Katie. This is so honest, from the heart and also endearing.

    I too want to be a women who is valued and respected, and someone who can help where I can.

    Thanks for sharing this #sundaystars

  • As everyone else said, a very inspiring post Katie. I’m not sure what answer I have just yet… Need to ponder on that for a while! Thank you though, this post has come at the right time for me. I’m planning a “full-speed ahead” thing with the blog in September and this will help – lots. Xxx

    • It’s a tough one isn’t it Morgan?! Glad it’s come at a good time for you though. Full steam ahead! :) x

  • What a question. I know I don’t want to be the woman I was, I’ve come so far since then, but the woman I want to be? I honestly don’t know at the moment. I want to be MORE me I guess, the woman I am meant to be, keeping moving forward with my passions, with my blog, with my life. I know I’ll never be there as I’ll always want to keep going #SundayStars

    • I know Toni. It threw me and took me ages to figure it out. Funny thing is I think about this all of the time too, now! Like almost daily! Haha! You’ll probably find yourself doing the same. MORE you, sounds fantastic to me. That’s a great aim as is moving forward. And do you know, I don’t think any of us will ever get to a place where we’re totally and utterly content with every part of our being, but that’s ok because it’s the journey (as cheesy as it sounds!) which counts. x

  • At 36 now *gasps* I really feel I am the woman I have always wanted to be. I’m a Mother, wife, blogger, friend etc.. and I value all the people in my life now more than I ever have down before. I have been through a lot and it has shaped me. I’m kinder, more appreciative and have more patience for other people these days. I definitely think I’ve become someone I would like my daughter to look up to. I still get things wrong, but I learn from them now and bounce back. I’m all about family now than material things – they mean the world to me. Another amazing post :) Jess xx

    • Ah Jess, I love this! Isn’t it funny how the tough things in life can really shape and mould us into better people? I know all the rotten stuff in my life, certainly has made me more empathic and kind towards others. x

  • For me it is about being owning my own power. The journey is about knowing what strengths i have and using those, really using them, so that I can be all that I can be. Success is different fro everyone. Great post. Have you heard of Power on Purpose. tom Barber and Sandra Westland run motivational courses that are amazing and about true personal success. #sundaystars

    • Sounds great Kirsten! I love that phrase ‘owning my own power’, and you’re absolutely right, success is different to everyone. Which is why I love this question so much, because it’s about YOU. What kind of woman do YOU want to be? I find it just so inspiring! I haven’t heard of Power On Purpose no, but many thanks for mentioning it. I will investigate ;-) X

  • Ooh, can I have your answer?! I love this post Kate, you are a woman of value but I know exactly what you mean and your ambition is infectious. So glad to have your posts to inspire me like this :)


    • I will let you, yes. ;-) Thank you darling. We gotta try and be the best we can be, ey?! x

  • Oooh hun what a great post. I think you answer is brilliant and sums up so much. My first thought when you asked was ‘kind’ but that seems a bit wet now after ‘value’. I guess I want to be a woman that makes a difference, to others and my family. Fabulously inspiring darling xxx

    • It doesn’t sound wet at all! :) Kindness is hugely important. So glad you enjoyed it and you are that woman Amy! Kind too ;-) X

  • Such an inspiring post – thank you! Since loosing my daughter I feel so vulnerable and everything I thought I knew about my life and self has been disrupted..im back to evaluating life, figuring out who I am and who I want to be, this all resonated with me and was great to read, so many things I want but also so much fear as life seems so much more fragile now. xx

    • Oh Mary. Thank you so much for your comment and I truly hope in some way that it might help a little, as you go on with life trying to figure things out. I cannot imagine what it is like to lose a child but I can imagine that it turns life and the world as you know it, completely on it’s head. Best of luck with figuring out who you are and what you want to be and much love. X

  • Oh Kate you are anything but ordinary! Another smash-it post that I bookmarked to read when I first saw it on Facebook and again it doesn’t disappoint. Such an important question to ask yourself, and to keep asking yourself. It’s the kind of question I ask of my children too – reminding them that who they are and who they become is so much more important than what they earn or own at any given point.

    It’s along the lines of a question I keep turning over in my mind, about what my life purpose is – and I haven’t quite nailed it yet, but I know that it has to do with creating and celebrating wonder in our everyday lives. In other words I want to be Wonder Woman hehe ;-)

    I hope that feeling of joy and wonder comes through in everything I do, and absolutely it’s all about value which is a very significant word to me too. Great post, great question, great answer! x

    • Thanks so much Uju! It really is such an important question isn’t it? A tough one but yet full of potential, which is why I love it so much! I don’t know if any of us have really got our life’s purpose figured out but you know, I think the celebrating wonder in our everyday lives, thing is spot. on.

      Keep celebrating. You, life, EVERYTHING! Much love x

  • Beautifully written Katie what a great answer my first thought when I read it was Happy thats all i ever want for my self and other around me is just to feel happy and content with life thanks for linking up to #sundaystars

  • Great post Kate. I want to be a woman who always makes happiness of my son and those closest to me my top priority. I want to be the kind of woman who gets live in perspective and has no regrets at the end. I want to be able to look back on my achievements and know that I achieved them because I had the courage to take on the challenge. Have a good day.

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