WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU’RE FEELING S**T (OR DOWN IN THE DUMPS)

We all go through it.

Every single one of us.

Times when we’re just feeling rubbish or to be frank, like utter s**t.

Sometimes it can be just for a day or two, others time it can last longer. But how on earth do you stop feeling like the smelly stuff and get your self acquainted with a sweeter scent.

Well, my friends, it’s a tough process.

Because as you’ll know, sometimes it can just take a couple of things to make you right again whilst other times you need a bit of a longer plan.

It’s tricky. Us human beings are nothing but complex.

However for those times when I feel totally and utterly rubbish, these are some of the things that work for me.

By no means, am I an expert but this is the stuff that gets me through the stink, to a happier, less s*****y place. Take my hand…

——

what to do when you're feeling s**t

1. Feel it

Hippyish bollocks? Perhaps. But it’s important if nothing else that you remain true to yourself, which I’m afraid means accepting your feelings for what they are – warts an’ all.

You might not want to recognise it, you might not want to acknowledge stuff, but you must, in order to understand and tackle the menace that’s tipped you into the stench.

So feel, recognise and acknowledge.“Ok, I feel like s***, but why?!” is a really good place to start.

 

2. Take a ‘time out’

From as much as you can. When you’re not feeling at your best, something is going on. Your inner voice is piping up and warning you, making it clear that something needs to be done.

But it’s hard to listen and hard to figure out what the hell is going on, when you’re so god damn busy.

So take a ‘time out’. Put yourself on the ‘naughty’ step if you have to (any excuse to give yourself a break) and pull back from the craziness. Try and find some peace to do some serious soul searching.

 

3. Wait

Sometimes you’ll know why you’re feeling horrid in a flash. Perhaps you’ve had an argument with a loved one or been turned down for a job.

But sometimes, it takes longer. There might be lots of reasons why you’re not firing on all cylinders or just a great big glaring one that you don’t want to face, just yet.

So if you’re unsure, just be for a while. Wait it out, keep listening and keep sitting still. Your answer will appear when you’re ready.

 

4. Be kind to yourself

If there’s one thing you take from this post, please just take this. Ignore all the other points if you like, but listen to THIS.

I’ve said it before and I’ll keep it saying it, until we start to change…but, generally speaking, most women I know are absolutely rubbish at looking after themselves. Most women I know put everyone else’s needs in front of their own. This is no good. For any of us.

So please. Please, for the love of god, for the love of all of us, STOP. And start being kind to yourself.

If you struggle to know what this means, just think about how you would treat your child. Put yourself to bed when you’re tired, have regular ‘time outs’, feed yourself nourishing food, compliment yourself, dress well and play!

Look after YOU. It may not solve everything but this alone can work wonders.

 

5. Make changes

Once you’ve figured out where you caught the s*****y bug from me, it’s time to address the issue/s. It’s time to make change.

Maybe you’re bold enough to make one huge change like leave a relationship that is failing or go on a big weight loss plan, and if you are, brilliant. Amazing! Go and knock yourself out and go for it.

But if not, that’s ok too. Just remember that little changes can be just as good.

Think of the one major thing in your life that is making you feel rotten and think of three little things you can do to sort it out and make you feel better. Just three little things.

Three little daily things that can and will make a difference. It really is easier than you think.

 

 

6. Ditch hate in ALL of its forms

It is my belief that we often feel like garbage because we take on other people’s rubbish.

We start off clean and lovely and by the end of the day, we’re left rotten, filthy and sticking, just because of the people we’ve spent time with or the things we have read.

You have to stop allowing other forms of grot to stick to you. You have to stop allowing other people’s nastiness to contaminate you.

So stop spending time with any people who are mean towards you, in any shape, way or form. And whilst you’re at it ditch the whingers, gossipers and users too.

Stop reading websites and magazines that are hateful towards women (you know the ones).

Stop watching TV shows that are spiteful or make fun out of people.

Seriously, just ditch the nastiness and I guarantee before you know it, you’ll be back smelling of roses.

 

7. Cut back on or ditch social media

Sometimes I’m having a bad day and I hop on social media only to read of someone’s amazing day and it just makes me so bloody miserable. You too right?

Because even though you may be genuinely happy for the other person and wish them well (if you don’t, you need to read this) let’s face it when you’re stuck in the mud, you often don’t want to be reminded that other people are up there dancing under the stars!

And you start to feel sorry for yourself. You start to resent them and feel envy and then you start to dislike yourself even more and on the s****y cycles go.

So don’t do it. Whenever you’re feeling rotten, just step away. If you know social media will only make you feel worse, step away from Facebook, from the tweets and pretty filtered photos on Instagram and leave it be for a while.

Return to it when you’re happier. Return when you’re ready to join the party and bring good energy with you.

 

8. Be grateful

It’s bloody hard isn’t it?! To be grateful when your life has gone off course or you’re suffering or just feeling damn right awful. But you have to. You have to be grateful for what you do have.

Start slowly if you have to and go for the obvious stuff. Be grateful for being alive, for having a roof over your head and food in your cupboards. Be grateful you live in a country that is democratic, where we get free education and a free health service.

And then start to increase the ol’ gratitude list when you can by focusing on the smaller stuff. And above all, always be grateful for the stuff that truly matters – love, family and friends.

Being grateful for what you DO have, stops you focusing on what you do not.

It changes your perception and allows you to concentrate on the good stuff, which quite frankly is something we should all be doing, whether we feel like s**t or not.

 

9. Get a cat

Or a dog. Or a rabbit. Whatever you chose.

Just welcome an animal into your life and show it some love. Because trust me, it’s hard to feel totally s**t when you’ve got a warm furry creature showering you with affection, purrs or licks.

This for sure I absolutely know.

———

What do you think of my list? Do these things work for you? Or have you other ideas? Would love to hear your thoughts on this one.

P.S And a final request…

Tomorrow, voting closes for the BiBs so this is a final polite request for your support.

I’m truly so thrilled to have been shortlisted for best writer in these awards and grateful to every single one of you who has voted for or supported me. I’d like to say I’m not bothered if I don’t make the final five, but that would be an out and out lie, so I won’t. *winks*

Because the truth is I’d absolutely love to make the final five, if nothing else so I can and go and wear a pretty dress, drink wine and celebrate the work from some of the best bloggers around.

As always, there is no pressure at all, but if you do feel I deserve to be there, if you do think my writing isn’t too shabby, then well, a vote here for Pouting In Heels under the WRITER category would be awesome.

And if you don’t, hey that’s fine too. Just don’t forget to give your vote to a blogger who you know does a fabulous job.

Thanks all. xxx

With love,

Kate

Lips

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This post is linked to #BrilliantBlogPosts#TheList and #SundayStars

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38 Discussions on
“WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU’RE FEELING S**T (OR DOWN IN THE DUMPS)”
  • All of these points are spot on as usual Kate. I especially love the one about getting a pet though. It’s so true that they make you feel better in one wag of a tail. When I was going through huge stress over my dissertation it would all evaporate in a split second when I got to my horses stables and for the whole time I was with her. She was my true healer and I really really miss her for that, along with lots of other reasons. Animals have an amazing ability to tune into your feelings.
    Remembering what you do have is also another great one. We are all blessed in some way or another, it’s just remembering it! Xx

    • Gosh Franki they really do! I’ve just said that in a round about way in response to Leigh’s comment. Animals really do have a knack for understanding who needs them. And yes you’re right – we are all blessed – even if we don’t think it, so much more than many, many people in the world xxx

  • Hello Kate,

    This just seems like an answer from my post yesterday.

    From time to time I just feel like rubbish, that I do not belong here, but as you say it is a long process, our body and mind need to get used to the good feelings and put the bad ones behind.

    Thanks again for an amazing post.

    xx
    Marta

    • My pleasure Marta. So glad you enjoyed it. Don’t give up on the long process, these things take time xxx

  • Great post and great tips. Gosh I get sucked down deep sometimes. My worst one is obsessing over little faux pas I’ve committed eons ago. To stop the negative thoughts I remind myself that the person I wronged probably doesn’t even remember. It can be tough though!

    #brilliantblogposts

    • Gosh yes, I can do that too sometimes! I think you have to learn to forgive yourself,talk to yourself as a best friend and move on. xx

  • All of this, Katie. It’s good to be honest about how we can all have crappy times, especially as social media likes to present a rosy picture. Agree with the pet part! We are so lucky Fat Cat has chosen to live with us (though it is not so good for her ‘real’ owners). I’d add exercise to that list – whether a walk or a run, any exercise can do you a bit of good and help you feel a bit better xxx

    • It is isn’t it Leigh?! You see so many things on social media or read so many posts on blogs that are all ‘look how wonderful my life is’ which is fabulous BUT it doesn’t help anyone when someone feels rotten and thinks they are the only one feeling like that. Keeping things ‘real’ is what it’s all about. (And something you brilliantly do as a blogger!).I think Fat Cat found you because you needed her, animals are very good at figuring out who needs their love and of course who give great fuss.

      Can’t believe I forgot about the exercise bit! Yes, of course, totally agree, exercise (especially in fresh air) really does help xxx

  • Lovely post, you are right sometimes we just need to shake it off and taking time out does help. Can you tell my husband the cat bit, I so want one ;) xxx

    • We do Susan don’t we. I sometimes think we’re all so frantically busy these days, that this is part of the problem. We just don’t have enough time to stop still and BE. As for your husband…why of course! EVERY home needs at least one cat in it, as far as I’m concerned ;-) x

    • Damn it Uju! I knew there was something glaringly obvious I missed. Of course – chocolate helps everything. (And wine, definitely wine too) ;-) x

    • I agree Sally, totally. I really think hatred spills from people and contaminates us too, if we’re not careful. Just look at the way you can be guilty just by association with people who aren’t very pleasant. Thanks for sharing your post, no problem at all with that! :) Will pop over for a read later x

  • This is great advice, I really like the ditch hate in all of its forms. Because you’re so right and feel it, I never do that I jusy keep chugging on half the time and hope it will go away. #brillblogposts

    • Thanks so much Laura. Try not to chugg on next time ey? Just give yourself a little break. Hard I know but important x

  • I completely agree with all of these points, they’re so important to remember. With my post-pregnancy hormonal ups and downs I think all of these have helped at some point. I also think talking about feelings helps to make sense of them and realise that you’re not alone x

    • Haha! Thanks Rebecca! I think doctors should prescribe pets to people, don’t you?! Thanks for popping by x

  • Great tips! Although maybe I should appreciate my dog a little more…but she is so big, boisterous and more annoying than all 3 kids put together! A rant at the hubby also helps me feel a bit better!
    Clare x

  • Ditching social media is a good idea! Sometimes that is the root of the Sh1tty feeling! Taking a time out to take stock of things is also a good idea! Thanks for sharing your suggestions #TheList

  • All of these tips are so useful and I think you’re absolutely right – you have to admit when it’s just not your day, otherwise you’re only trying to fight against something negative which drags you down even more.

    My husband and I refer to these times as “feeling cloudy” and more often than not the best thing is just to have an early night, either go to sleep or watch something mindless, and more or less the next day feels better again.

    And pets – can’t beat ’em. The two greatest gifts my parents gave me were a fearless independence and a love of animals. My one year old Springer Maddie can put a smile on my face in the darkest of moments X

  • Very well timed post as I feel pretty rubbish at the moment and not sure how to get out of the funk as just feel like I am failing at everything at the mo :/ will try and follow your advice :) xx #brilliantblogposts

  • Yep to all of these! I normally find social media great – it keeps me in touch with family and friends who live in the states – but I do find when I’m feeling down it does help to cut back!

  • You really do write so beautifully and I know there is going to be an award for you at the BIBS and the MADS too I’m sure. You give such positive advice to real women. Thank you. Thanks for linking up #sundaystars

  • Fabulous tips huni, I agree about the animals, we have two little furry pooches and it is hard to be down when they are always so ‘up’! YOu know you have my vote my darling xxx

  • Brilliant post Kate. It’s times like this that we need help and inspiration the most! I advocate all of this (obvs) but especially point 7. Social media can cause so much mental torment when we’re in a dark place. Love & hugs darling xxx

  • Some wise words as usual. I particularly like the recommendation to get a cat. I love my cat, he always makes me feel better.

    I find that having a bath and then writing down my thoughts and feelings helps. Sometimes I need to get them off my chest – hence the blog.

    Good luck with the BIBs awards. xx

  • As you know dear katie I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed of late and when this happens I get to a place where I feel as though I’m unable to cope with anything much. I am feeling better now after last week and managing to get everything done but I really couldn’t agree more with the points you’ve made. Especially be kind to yourself, I need to learn to do that more often.

    Perfect post here as always xxx

    • Thanks Amy! It happens to all of us doesn’t it?! That feeling of being overwhelmed is awful (prob deserves a whole post of it’s own to be honest) and if it helps, I’m feeling exactly that tonight! But at the end of the day we can only try our best and be kind to ourselves! So glad to hear you’re feeling better x

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