I came across this photograph a few days ago that my husband had taken back in June when we had that one really hot summer’s day.

A snap of me with my two children, sat in the new paddling pool that we’d bought for them as a surprise, in our back garden. Just a mum spending time with her two kids on a happy but scorching Saturday.

Can I ask you a question though? What do you see when you look at this photo?

A mum and her two small children having fun? My daughter’s incredibly happy face?

Or a squishy tummy? Mine to be precise.

Because that is what I immediately saw and honed in on when I first saw this picture, as ashamed as I am to admit it.

If you’re been reading this blog a while you will hopefully know that I’m very much a body positive person. Regardless of what size I may be at any one time or how my body has changed with motherhood and age as it inevitably does, I’ve always loved or at the very least accepted and appreciated my body.

I refuse to take part in the popular diet culture that I believe exists only to make people, but let’s face it, generally women, feel that they’re not good enough. I’m also very aware of the influence I have as a woman, blogger and in particular as a mother to a young daughter. Which is why you will rarely, if ever, catch me commenting on another’s woman’s size and why if I ever am trying to lose a little weight, you will never hear of it.

And yet, when I first came across this photo which I do absolutely adore, the immediate thought that first sprung to mind wasn’t, ‘ah I love this photo!’ but was ‘goodness me, my tummy looks a bit chunky and squishy on here!”

I wish I’d be telling you the opposite. I wish that thought had never entered my head.

But I’ve always tried to be honest on here about the struggles that we have as women and so I hope that by sharing this, it will perhaps make you think.

Because to me this example is a crystal clear illustration of how conditioned we have become as women to see and look for our self perceived flaws, regardless of what shape, size or age we may be. Whether it’s catching a reflection of ourselves as we pass by a shop window, looking in the mirror or seeing ourselves in a photograph that someone else has taken, we look for the bad bits. And we worry about them.

We forget about our real beauty, such as our character, expressions, silliness or the spring in our step and  instead put far too much emphasis on our physical form. And how a camera, mirror or reflection has captured it.

When it comes to a photograph, we worry far too much about how we look in it instead of appreciating the context. The moment. Or the memory captured.

Be honest and think for a minute;

How many times have you taken a group photo or selfie only for at least one woman in the photo to ask for it to be retaken because she doesn’t like how she looks in it?

How many times have you deleted a happy family shot on your phone because you think your arms look lumpy or you’ve got a double chin?

How many times have you dreaded your partner pulling the camera out on holiday because you don’t feel that your body is ‘beach ready’ or whatever other nonsense we’re told by the media that we should all be?

When I realised what I’d done when I first glimpsed this photograph, you’ll be pleased to hear I gave myself a stern talking to. Because I should never have immediately honed in on my squishy mum tum when I first came across it. I should only have appreciated the happiness of that day back in June that my husband captured so well.

Notably, when I showed this photo to my daughter, she didn’t comment on how my body looked. And neither did my husband. And isn’t this usually the case? We concentrate on our own flaws which most of the time are invisible to others in a photograph or otherwise.

Nope, my tummy wasn’t mentioned. And they both said exactly what I should have first thought.

“Ah, what a fabulous picture!”

And they’re right it is. It’s actually now one of my recent favourites which begs the question – why on earth did I worry how my tummy looked, when the happiness and love that we shared, right there on that hot lazy June Saturday, is so easily apparent to see?

So please. Don’t be afraid of putting yourself in the picture this summer when you’re on your beach holiday, on a special day out or just enjoying spending time with your children, a loved one or friends.

Please try to stop immediately honing in on how you physically appear in a candid photo and try to appreciate it for how it’s beautifully captured a split second of your life and you, instead.

Put yourself in the photo and remember this:

None of us have to be picture perfect for a picture to be perfect or very much loved.

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