It may not feel like it today as I watch the rain stream down outside, but summer has landed. It is upon us.

Summer is one of my favourite seasons. I love having my daughter off school for the holidays and also my husband (who is a Headteacher) around. I find the lazier days to be utterly lush and it’s the time of year when I get to smell my favourite scent – the smell of  sunshine on my children’s skin.

But it’s also a season in which we women find ourselves put under greater pressure than normal. We’re expected to look a certain way or have our summer holidays organised to perfection. We’re constantly reminded that we only have a limited number of summer holidays to enjoy with our children and it’s the time of year when everyone is expected to be relaxing, holidaying and having fun.

So as the media does it’s annual thing of instructing us all on ‘how to get the perfect summer body’ and the pressure of experiencing a perfect summer lingers in the air, here are some things to read, remember and repeat to yourself over the next few months to help keep yourself sane.

Your body is already ‘beach ready’

Look most of us, I’m certainly not immune to feeling that inner squirm when I consider that in early August it’ll be my time to don some swimwear on our beach holiday to Corfu.

But here’s the thing. I’m not going to to get into a panic about it or go on a crash diet. I’m not going to beat myself up for not looking anything like the beautiful (and take note) professional models who advertised the swimwear that I’ve purchased for the holiday and I’m absolutely not going to even allow myself to worry for one second what anyone might think of my 39 year old body, post two children, on the beach.

And really, truly, honestly, saying it with love…neither should you.

I get that you want to look and feel your best. (Me too.) And if working out and watching what you eat makes you genuinely happy, then go for it! But please don’t do it because of a feeling or mistaken belief that you’re somehow not good enough as you are, right now, to strut your hot stuff on the beach. Or because you feel have to.

Please don’t do that.

Want to look ‘perfect’ on the beach? Great! Wear swimwear that you feel fabulous in as well as your biggest, happiest smile and just enjoy yourself! Play with your kids, float on the waves, feel that glorious intense heat of the sun on your skin and be grateful that you’re alive and well to soak it all in.

Because that is what it’s all about.

Your summer is what you make it

Don’t compare your summer to anyone else’s because as soon as you do? It can and will only fall short.

Yes it can be difficult not to fall into the comparison trap when you scroll through Instagram and see people you follow, photographed in the most exotic locations, seemingly having the time of their lives.  Especially when you’re stuck indoors with a few grumpy kids because the weather is awful or you’ve ran out of cash. I get it. I’ve been there. And it’s miserable.

But just as with life, your summer – whatever that looks like – is what you make of it.

Some of the best summers I’ve ever had, both as a child and as an adult, have been the least exciting on paper and often the cheapest too. Eating fish and chips in the drizzle on a Devon beach with my eight month old daughter in my arms. Enjoying a picnic in the middle of a field with my friend when we were ten. Dozing outside in the garden or enjoying a cold beer in a British beer garden.

Whether you’re off on your travels or have nothing planned whatsoever, a memorable summer is down to our own mindset as much as our plans or bank balance. All you need to do is relax, try and make the most of it and make it work for you.

You don’t have to enjoy every minute with your children

In an ideal world, we would all adore being with our children, every second, of every day. But as a mum to two young children, I’m well aware that this isn’t always possible. (Even though, like most parents, I love them beyond words.)

The summer holidays are long. Really long. They have many positives. One of them being, that you get to spend lots of quality time with your children. Or at least much more than usual.

But they also have a few negatives too. One of them being (yep you guessed it!), that you get to spend lots of quality time with your children!

There’s huge pressure these days, particularly on mums, that parents should make the most out of every summer holiday with their children and enjoy every minute. And whilst I understand and can appreciate the sentiment, I also absolutely hate the extra weight that this heaps on our already heavily burdened shoulders.

Being with your children during the summer holidays does and can feel amazing. The break from the routine is refreshing and much needed and personally, I still get as giddy about my daughter breaking for the summer, as I did when I was a child breaking up for the holidays myself.

But being with them every day can also be exhausting, regardless of what age they’re at. Understandably a break from routine means that kids often get bored or cranky. Our weather is unreliable which makes planning ahead tricky, it’s expensive because it’s such a long period of time to entertain them and as a parent, you feel the constant pressure that you should all be having the summer of your lives!

There are often days in the summer holidays when I just long for an hour to myself or for the house to be tidy just for a little while! And do you know what, that is normal.

It’s OK to not enjoy every second of being with your children this summer holidays or even if you’re dreading the thought of it. Just as we can’t and shouldn’t expect children to have to enjoy every moment of them too.

We all know as parents that times goes fast. We all know that long summer holidays soon whizz by and we’re catapulted into another school year before we know it.

So let that pressure go. Get off the guilt wagon, give yourself a break and remember it’s never about the amount of time you have with them or even what you do with them that counts. It’s about the happy memories that are made.