35 ‘rules’ for women to live by (created by me)



TOMORROW is my birthday.

There will be cards, presents (here’s hoping!), perhaps even some delicious cake. I’ve already partied with my dearest friends to celebrate and I’m looking forward to dragging out the celebrations for as long as I can with Elsie, Jamie (the husband) and family and friends this weekend. (Well you’ve just got to!)

And I will be 35.


I don’t know why (perhaps because this year has been such a bloody challenge at times) but this turning 35 lark seems like a bit of a pivotal moment in my life. A milestone.

So I’m looking forward to it. I’m very excited. I’m not bothered about ageing, in the slightest.

There will be no wailing about turning 35 here. No tears and tantrums (from me that is, Elsie may have other ideas) but I did want to mark it somehow. And so it got me thinking.

About all the crap us women are fed. About all the things we are told to do and told not to do. And how at 34, about to turn 35, I’ve never felt happier, sexier and more confident in my self. Which is pretty funny when you consider how we’re supposed to dread getting older!

And so to mark my special day, I’ve decided to make up my own rules (birthday girl’s perogative an’ all that) for women. For you. For me. For all of us.

Rules that I think will make us happier, less stressed, more sassy and put a great big two fingers up at the world that we live in that expects us to be perfect, obedient and quiet. (Screw that!)

Here are 35 NEW rules for us to live by. Are you ready ladies? Let’s go…


1) Wear what you like, whenever the hell you like, for whatever reason you damn well choose

Wanna wear miniskirts at 70, go for it! Wanna strut your stuff on the beach in a bikini even though your body is far from perfect? Go for it sister, do YOUR thang! Who the hell is anyone to tell us what to wear at any age.

2) Stop trying to be perfect

It’s impossible so stop.

3) Don’t be a martyr

Don’t like your life? Then change it. The power lies in your hands.

4) Stop doing everything for everyone

I know our kids need us. I know it’s good to be supportive and kind but for the love of god, isn’t it about time we stopped driving ourselves to the point of exhaustion?

5) Be kind to other women

Let’s stop gossiping about, competing with and being damn right cruel about other women shall we? We have a bad enough time of things as it is without turning on each other.

6) Don’t settle

Expect good things to happen. Expect to be treated well. Expect to live a life that you love. And don’t settle for anything less.

7) Wear amazing shoes

Enough said.

8) Take time to rest

It’s good to take a break. And healthy. So do it more please, I beg of you.

9) Live your best life

Whatever that is, whatever it looks like, this should be what you’re aiming for.

10) Earn your own money

Strong women are financially independent.

11) Stop worshipping men

They’re just as flawed as us.

12) Love your kids with EVERYTHING you’ve got

Even when they play up, even when you’re exhausted, just love them. That’s all they really need.

13) Don’t ever ditch or use your pals

Life is much sweeter with girlfriends. We live longer too remember?

14) Give something of yourself

Contribute to the world, do something, share your soul. We’re all in this together.

15) Fight your fears

It’s the only way to get rid of them.

16) Listen to your gut

You always know what you need to do.

17) Embrace glamour

Because it’s part of the joy of being a woman.

18) Organise your wardrobe by OUTFITS

It will change your life.

19) Whatever you’re doing, always go ALL OUT

Don’t do ‘timid’ or mediocre.

20) Never be the last one at a party (unless it’s yours)

It’ll save your head the next day and make you more interesting.

21) Spend as much time on your inner beauty as you do on looking good

Because true beauty and a happy life comes from within.

22) Read

Everything. (Or as much as you can)

23) Let you hair down

Enjoy life! Don’t let the drudgery of the everyday get you down.

24) Dazzle people

Show ’em the best you but always be yourself.

25) Don’t EVER think you are not good enough

Because you are. More than you know.

26) Hold on to your dignity

Especially when the s**t hits the pan.

27) Get angry

About the injustices of the world and let it fire you up to take action.

28) Do work you love

That makes you happy and feeds your soul. Life is too short not to.

29) Treat yourself well

No one else will if you don’t.

30) Be polite

Good manners can take you places.

31) Embrace your age

Don’t ever take for granted the fact that you’re still here breathing.

32) Find your love story

Because THIS is what makes the world go round.

33) Do something extravagant every once in a while

Life demands memories and extravagance.

34) Don’t lose yourself in others

Don’t become what other people expect. Their happiness is not your responsibility.

35) Ignore every rule you come across (including these)

Live YOUR life. As long as you can look yourself in the eyes and sleep at night, just do whatever the hell you damn well choose. :)



Here’s to another year ahead! Cheers folks! *pops open something fizzy and alcoholic and does a little dance*

With love (and a few more wrinkles)



This pic was kindly taken by Masque Photography as part of my Monica Bellucci -inspired shoot.

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42 Discussions on
“35 ‘rules’ for women to live by (created by me)”
  • Oh Happy Birthday and here’s to your brilliant rules. I too will be 35 on my next birthday and I agree with all of these – loving number 18!!!

  • Great post! These are rules for anyone really! It’s funny you mention that you feel happier and such at 35 because that didn’t hit me until I was 40. Before then I always felt a bit awkward about myself honestly. I always love your posts and look forward to reading them for many years to come! Cheers

  • I couldn’t agree more. I never thought I’d say this but I’m loving getting older. I’m 33 now and honestly wouldn’t want to go back to my twenties for all the money in the world. Kindness, courage and glamour, what more do you need? Happy Birthday! Maria x

  • Bloddy brilliant! very inspirational may even print this and put it up on my wall, for those moments when I’m about to wobble (as I call it) thanks again! Xx

  • Have a very, very, very Happy Birthday. You sound so much more clued up than I ever was at your age. In fact I will memorize some of your tips. Especially number 34. x Jo

  • Absolutely brilliant list my wise and beautiful friend! Shoes, glamour, kindness, independence and being good to yourself with champagne glass in hand sounds good to me!! Long may it last, here’s to you my love xxxxx

  • Gorgeous post sweetie and before reading this today (as know you wrote yours yesterday), I wrote a list to link up to #thelist this am on being thankful as Thanksgiving really got me thinking…and we’ve covered a couple of the same ones (because we both rock right), those universal truths that come with age usually-you would love Break the Rules book too, I actually think you should write your own lady so get that on the list!

    Oh Kate I feel SO grateful to have you in my life honey, you are a wonderful, smart, caring, sassy, beautiful woman inside and out and are testament to every single point you’ve written here. Have a wonderful birthday darling and here’s to our next meet up! Keep being you, keep being ah-mazing! Love you xx

  • Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!

    Awesome post and awesome attitude. I turned 40 last year and am more fabulous than I ever was. And it’s all really in the attitude. It took my 30s to really be aware that I am not living this life for anyone else. Hope your birthday and your weekend are wonderful!

  • Happy Birthday! You look very glamourous in your photoshoot, what a way to celebrate your birthday! Personally, I’m all about embracing my own style rather than embracing glamour, because I’m not glamourous, I just like looking at other people’s. But your list is inspiring, because all women should have their own real rules.

  • Number 2! Number 4! Heck… all of them!! LOVE this list, had me punching the sky, saying ‘damn yeah’ and coming over all militant! Seriously though, between this list and Vicki’s one on being kind to ourselves this week I’ve got two new sets of rules to pin to my mirror and read every day. (Makes me feel better about hitting 42 in January too.) I know I’ve sung this to you virtually already ;) but Happy Birthday to you! Hope you had the most marvelous day with your gorgeous family and that we get to meet up again soon so that I can give you a big birthday hug x x

  • Happy Birthday! I said that on Instagram already but then saw your fab pics of the night and thought I would say it again here! you looked gab! I love your earrings! Great list and I am guilty for doing many of then…oops… I should stick them on my fridge! #TheList

  • Fan-blooming-tastic post my lovely! You’ll get nothing but agreement and whoop whoops from me :-) Really enjoyed all of it but no. 12 & 13 are my faves xxx #allaboutyou

  • I’ve commented above already, but I’m going to add that maybe this post should be an ongoing one and you read it before each birthday and add to it or change something? Just a thought :) Great post and thank you for linking up #allaboutyou

  • Happy Birthday! I love, love, LOVE this post! Amen sister. I am 33, turning 34 in about 6 weeks or so (early Jan). I too have never felt more happy with myself and am not afraid of getting older. In fact I would go as far to say that I’m getting better, healthier, more confident with age. Oh and I totally agree with number 7 – everyone needs fabulous shoes! ;)

  • Oh happy birthday again my darling! I’m so glad you’re turning 35 so you could share these gems. I couldn’t agree more about feeling happier, sexier and more confident – that is definitely something that comes with age. My role models are 2 good friends who are in their 40s – I wished I looked as good as them NOW, so I’m holding out hope of improving with age :)

    Points for me to work on in particular are 7, 18 and 20! xxx

    Thanks for linking up to #TheList xxx

  • What a fantastic set of ‘rules’! I agree with every single one and somehow you managed to cover everything! I’m not 30 for a few years but after reading this I’m quite looking forward to getting a little older and wiser! x

  • This is brilliant. I turned 36 this year. I am happier than I have ever been, and whilst I can’t honestly say that I manage to live by all of these things all of the time it’s a bloody good set of rules. Happy birthday! Hope you had a fabulous day :) xx

  • Happy birthday. I LOVE this post. There are so many amazing rules here. You are a genius. I especially agree with rules 5, 14 and 21. I am the grand old age of 36. But I love it. I had a rough old time of it in my twenties and only now do I feel content and complete. Age is nothing. In fact, it is a privelege to be able to celebrate birthdays (some are not so lucky). So dear lady, pop that champage and PARTY! Hugs Mrs H xxxx

  • Bloody fab! I LOVE this. I especially like the be kind to women and wear fabulous shoes-what more can you say. I am so smitten with you lady, you really are a wonder xxx

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