TOMORROW is my birthday.

There will be cards, presents (here’s hoping!), perhaps even some delicious cake. I’ve already partied with my dearest friends to celebrate and I’m looking forward to dragging out the celebrations for as long as I can with Elsie, Jamie (the husband) and family and friends this weekend. (Well you’ve just got to!)

And I will be 35.


I don’t know why (perhaps because this year has been such a bloody challenge at times) but this turning 35 lark seems like a bit of a pivotal moment in my life. A milestone.

So I’m looking forward to it. I’m very excited. I’m not bothered about ageing, in the slightest.

There will be no wailing about turning 35 here. No tears and tantrums (from me that is, Elsie may have other ideas) but I did want to mark it somehow. And so it got me thinking.

About all the crap us women are fed. About all the things we are told to do and told not to do. And how at 34, about to turn 35, I’ve never felt happier, sexier and more confident in my self. Which is pretty funny when you consider how we’re supposed to dread getting older!

And so to mark my special day, I’ve decided to make up my own rules (birthday girl’s perogative an’ all that) for women. For you. For me. For all of us.

Rules that I think will make us happier, less stressed, more sassy and put a great big two fingers up at the world that we live in that expects us to be perfect, obedient and quiet. (Screw that!)

Here are 35 NEW rules for us to live by. Are you ready ladies? Let’s go…


1) Wear what you like, whenever the hell you like, for whatever reason you damn well choose

Wanna wear miniskirts at 70, go for it! Wanna strut your stuff on the beach in a bikini even though your body is far from perfect? Go for it sister, do YOUR thang! Who the hell is anyone to tell us what to wear at any age.

2) Stop trying to be perfect

It’s impossible so stop.

3) Don’t be a martyr

Don’t like your life? Then change it. The power lies in your hands.

4) Stop doing everything for everyone

I know our kids need us. I know it’s good to be supportive and kind but for the love of god, isn’t it about time we stopped driving ourselves to the point of exhaustion?

5) Be kind to other women

Let’s stop gossiping about, competing with and being damn right cruel about other women shall we? We have a bad enough time of things as it is without turning on each other.

6) Don’t settle

Expect good things to happen. Expect to be treated well. Expect to live a life that you love. And don’t settle for anything less.

7) Wear amazing shoes

Enough said.

8) Take time to rest

It’s good to take a break. And healthy. So do it more please, I beg of you.

9) Live your best life

Whatever that is, whatever it looks like, this should be what you’re aiming for.

10) Earn your own money

Strong women are financially independent.

11) Stop worshipping men

They’re just as flawed as us.

12) Love your kids with EVERYTHING you’ve got

Even when they play up, even when you’re exhausted, just love them. That’s all they really need.

13) Don’t ever ditch or use your pals

Life is much sweeter with girlfriends. We live longer too remember?

14) Give something of yourself

Contribute to the world, do something, share your soul. We’re all in this together.

15) Fight your fears

It’s the only way to get rid of them.

16) Listen to your gut

You always know what you need to do.

17) Embrace glamour

Because it’s part of the joy of being a woman.

18) Organise your wardrobe by OUTFITS

It will change your life.

19) Whatever you’re doing, always go ALL OUT

Don’t do ‘timid’ or mediocre.

20) Never be the last one at a party (unless it’s yours)

It’ll save your head the next day and make you more interesting.

21) Spend as much time on your inner beauty as you do on looking good

Because true beauty and a happy life comes from within.

22) Read

Everything. (Or as much as you can)

23) Let you hair down

Enjoy life! Don’t let the drudgery of the everyday get you down.

24) Dazzle people

Show ’em the best you but always be yourself.

25) Don’t EVER think you are not good enough

Because you are. More than you know.

26) Hold on to your dignity

Especially when the s**t hits the pan.

27) Get angry

About the injustices of the world and let it fire you up to take action.

28) Do work you love

That makes you happy and feeds your soul. Life is too short not to.

29) Treat yourself well

No one else will if you don’t.

30) Be polite

Good manners can take you places.

31) Embrace your age

Don’t ever take for granted the fact that you’re still here breathing.

32) Find your love story

Because THIS is what makes the world go round.

33) Do something extravagant every once in a while

Life demands memories and extravagance.

34) Don’t lose yourself in others

Don’t become what other people expect. Their happiness is not your responsibility.

35) Ignore every rule you come across (including these)

Live YOUR life. As long as you can look yourself in the eyes and sleep at night, just do whatever the hell you damn well choose. :)



Here’s to another year ahead! Cheers folks! *pops open something fizzy and alcoholic and does a little dance*

With love (and a few more wrinkles)



This pic was kindly taken by Masque Photography as part of my Monica Bellucci -inspired shoot.

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