Us women are great. Like truly bloody great.

We are powerful, empathic, beautiful beings. We create life and we bring it into the world. We nurture, we protect and we give.

But we’re also vulnerable and often far too forgetful of our worth and resistant to the power that lies within us.

If you’re reading this today and are perhaps feeling a bit low, confused or just not at your best, then consider how often you do these five things below and if you can, please try to stop doing them.

From personal experience, I can safely say that these five things are always the things that trip me up and – if I’m not careful – send me into a downward spiral of despair or self doubt whenever I’m not at my strongest.

STOP GIVING (WHEN IT’S NOT APPRECIATED)

The friend who only gets in touch when she needs something. The work colleague whom you continually cover for yet who never has your back. The ex that still lingers in your life, toying with your emotions.

Think about it. Who are the takers in your life? And who are the givers?

In any relationship, whilst there will sometimes be occasions when you find that you may have to give more of yourself than the other person (for all manner of reasons), guess what? This should not be a regular thing. A healthy, respectful relationship should have a natural ebb and flow but always feel relatively equal. So if you are continually feeling like you’re giving and getting nothing or very little back in return, pull back and stop.

You are not a bottomless pit of energy, love, compassion, attention or money, that anyone can and should be able to draw and take from, whenever they feel like it. Sometimes, when it comes to others, you have to close your well.

STOP COMPARING

Comparing ourselves to others is a natural thing to do, but if you do it too often and think about it too much? Well this my friends, is where misery lives.

Today we are continually surrounded and bombarded by constant snippets of people’s lives. About their careers, holidays, love lives. When it comes to the online world, we have all learned to become editors, to only share and show what we want others to see.

So when we compare ourselves to other people’s carefully crafted images and forget that everyone edits their lives to show us only the best or most interesting bits, we not only do ourselves and our lives a huge disservice, we also lose track of what is real.

You will never win when you compare yourself to someone else. There will always be someone better, richer, prettier or more successful. So as the saying goes, you have to learn to stick in your own lane.

Be grateful for everything that you have in your life and for everything that you offer, wish others well and more than anything, remember to take everything you come across on social media with a large pinch, or even a fistful, of salt.

STOP THINKING YOUR WORTH COMES FROM HOW YOU LOOK

Women are continually judged by their appearance so perhaps it’s no great surprise that we believe that our only value comes from how we look. From what size we are to what clothes we wear, to how we style our hair to whether we wear make up or not, all of these things and a million others, are examined and put under the most damning scrutiny. And don’t even get me started about ageing.

But none of this stuff matters. Or at least it shouldn’t.

Like many of us, I aim to look my best. I like to make an effort. I’m attracted to any item of clothing or accessory that has a sequin attached and I wear make up every single day.

But that’s not what gives me my value. Or you.

Because we don’t the world our prettiness. We owe it our talents, voices and passions.

Because we don’t owe the world our youth. We owe it our experience, wisdom and lessons.

Because we don’t owe the world our sexiness. We owe it our humour, personalities and quirks.

Our value goes – and always has and always will – way, way beyond skin deep.

STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP

Every woman I know has a supreme talent for identifying her own weaknesses. For noticing any areas in which she feels inadequate or pointing out her biggest perceived flaws.

When it comes to looking at others, I truly believe that most of us are empathic, appreciative and loving. Yet when it comes to looking at ourselves, our view couldn’t be more critical.

We have to stop seeing the worst in ourselves and mentally beating ourselves up because we wrongly believe we’re not good enough. We must let go of the ridiculous notion that perfection exists. (It doesn’t.)

Every time you or I criticise ourselves, it’s like we’re taking a large, heavy chisel to a beautiful, unique masterpiece and knocking huge, great chunks out of it, leaving it weaker, uglier and even unrecognisable.

Learning to be kind to yourself can be one of the hardest things to do, but my god, it’s also one of the best.

STOP HIDING

You were born because you are needed.

Needed to give the world something that it has never had or seen before. You were born because the world needs you to leave your mark and because there are lives that need to be altered and enhanced by your mere presence.

So why are you hiding?

Too many women are cowering or running away from their best lives because they are fearful of being seen. They are too scared to put themselves out there, in case they are looked at, judged or scrutinised.

But this magnificent planet, at this moment in time, needs you!

It needs you to step up, be who you’ve always destined to be and claim your rightful place. All you need to do is to have the courage to show up as your brilliant and most authentic self and allow yourself to be seen.