It can sound like a modern meme without much substance.

Songs that tell us to ‘love ourselves no matter what’ are often crafted by the artists hoping to spread a positive message. We often hear that it’s good to be kind to ourselves. We know deep down that we deserve a little love just like anyone else, but that we’ll never truly appreciate the love of another unless we can love ourselves. The truth is that life is too short to have anything else but a gentle sense of care and compassion for oneself. We might be critical of others on occasion, but it does seem like from time to time, we can be the most critical of ourselves.

Loving yourself is perhaps one of the most worthwhile things to do. Because if you can’t love yourself, how can you expect others to? Of course, we needn’t philosophise more in order to make this point, as it’s likely you already accept it as true to some degree, even if you struggle with the execution itself.

You wouldn’t be the first. It’s actually, and unfortunately, tremendously common for people to forgo loving themselves, because it does sometimes take an effort to do. However, just like watering plants, you need to aim your love in the right direction if something is to blossom. It might be that finding one thing that helps you do so will craft something else that you love, and then over time love will gain in momentum, and permeate most things you do. Of course, this is an art not a science, and rationality is still worthwhile here, lest we turn into a narcissist who can do no wrong whatsoever in your own eyes.

The most healthy, appealing, respectful and revolutionary methods of loving yourself are to show it. With this set of curated tips, I hope to convince you, through the small acts, that it’s more than possible to love yourself unapologetically. 

Treat Yourself

Every now and again, give yourself a gift at random. It doesn’t matter what it is, provided it doesn’t break your budget. It might be something simple. Instead of having your glasses frame repaired, you might go for a new model after using the previous for many years.

You might see a nice pair of shoes you love and pick them up. If you have a few hours between two shifts at work, you might decide to go and see a movie solo. You always deserve to simply treat yourself to something nice at a moments notice, provided it’s in collaboration with smart spending.

Many people will tell you that it’s only worth purchasing yourself something when you deserve it, but sometimes you just have to tell yourself with a tangible thing that ‘hey, I am worth it.’ Of course, retail therapy is never a truly satisfying solution to feeling down on yourself, but it can help you as an act of self-love towards yourself, provided it doesn’t become an entrenched habit. The surprise and the impulsivity of this will often mean it isn’t something you do often, so be sure to consider it.

Of course, buying yourself something worth hundreds of dollars is in no way required here. You might simply opt for a nicer lunch today, or go to the bar after work for one or two cocktails with a friend. Loving yourself often means just doing something by celebrating the moment, rather than scheduling in all the purchases you hope to make from top to bottom.

Groom Yourself

Grooming is a universal constant, even among many species, so it’s important to consider just how valuable it really is.

Grooming yourself by having long, luxurious showers, purchasing yourself nice tools to shave with, or perhaps purchasing an indulgent bath bomb to soak with for an hour can help you feel more comfortable than you ever have, and help you relax in the way that you truly deserve.

While grooming yourself might seem like more of a maintenance task and less of an act of self-love, the opposite is actually true. The first thing that deeply depressed people often forgo is self-preservation, and self-maintenance.  (This isn’t to criticise them, depression is a difficult illness that affects many facets of life without said person’s express intent.)

But if you feel yourself getting down, uplifting yourself by careful grooming can help your mind become focused on presenting yourself in the best way possible, and this reinforces the idea that you deserve to feel and look your cleanest and most radiant. Whether you choose to achieve this through painting your nails, a long and exfoliating oatmeal mask, or simply having your hair cut in a beautiful salon, grooming yourself is perhaps one of the most primal and fundamental methods of self-love around.

Eat Healthily

Many people often shout the benefits of healthy eating as something to do to get the perfect figure, or feel the most energy, or get the best hair and skin. Of course, this is all true, so it’s no wonder why they do say that. However, it’s quite easy to forget that eating healthy is a conscious decision you cannot do without some self-respect.

It’s easy to pig out on pizza all weekend, or to drink plenty of alcohol in a bar, or to wolf down a kilogram of ice cream when feeling a little ill. Eating healthily often feels the most nourishing from a mental perspective, and can truly help you consider just how worthwhile you are. Healthy eating tells you that you deserve to feel nourished after food, not lethargic.

It might be that revolutionising your entire kitchen with new tools, new base ingredients, new meal planning efforts and the willingness to try your best with new recipes can help you feel like you are nourished and supported in your kitchen. The willingness to eat more healthily shows you care about your future, and how you feel through the week. It also shows future and long-term planning, which can change your life if done in the right ways. No matter what your relationship with food has been until now, switching to a healthier alternative can potentially switch up your whole being, as diet is such a fundamental part of who we are, and how we feel during the content of our days.

Meditation

Meditation is quite a popular topic as of late, and it’s no surprise as to why. More and more people are understanding that time in quiet reflection allows them to think more clearly, to process their emotions in a much more promising manner, and to generally become a better person top to bottom. Meditation, if conducted well, also has a tangible feeling associated with it. To best describe this to those who haven’t experienced it, it’s one of complete peace, that only deepens as your practice continues.

You might not have your practice down in the first instance, nor might you feel completely comfortable in the first few sessions sat on the floor trying to focus on the breath in your nostrils. Over time however, meditation can quietly temper your spirit and generally help you feel better about yourself as you deserve to.

To get started, sit on a chair or comfortable cushion, with your back comfortable but straight. Focus on the breath entering in and out of your nostrils, unforced, unhurried, just there. Your might will wander time and time again, but when you realise you’re doing so, bring your awareness back to your breath. Over time you’ll get better and better at soothing the monkey mind, and each session will leave you feeling rejuvenated and more awake than ever.

Meditation is perhaps one of the best methods of practicing self-love, as it’s akin to mental maintenance. We would consider cardio to be an act of self-love, so be sure to understand why this mental practice could share the same moniker, and you’ll be sure to utilise it effectively.

Enjoy Your Own Company

It might be that you’re the kind of person who routinely needs to be around other people. This is common. However, if you find yourself jumping from person to person often, or relationship to relationship, it might be worth enjoying your own company.

Learning to enjoy your own company is the first step towards self-love. Finding it difficult to be alone shows you might have some personal work to do, and so be sure to consider how you might implement this, even if simply taking a mental health day from work once in a while.

With these simple tips, you’re sure to practice the art of self-love with much more clarity and worthwhile ability.