Musings on friendship

musings on friendship

Female friendship. Always worth celebrating over a glass of something cheeky.

I USED to think that female friendships would always involve some element of jealousy and competition.

I used to think that girls and women could never really be friends.

I used to think that women were bitchy and that girls were catty.

I used to think that being mates with my fellow sex would always be problematic.

I used to think that you could never really trust a fellow girl or woman.

And so…

I proudly called myself a ‘guy’s girl’.

I had few genuine female friends.

I treated some of my female friends very badly.

I attracted friends that were not good people.

I had unhealthy female friendships.

I was let down and I let people down.

In a world of female friendship, I often felt lost at sea.

But then one day, I grew up.

I watched. I listened and I learned.

It didn’t take me long to work out that I’d fallen for the nonsense that women could only hate each other.

It didn’t take me long to work out that I’d seen my sex as competition because that’s what the world wanted me to do.

It didn’t take me long to realise that I actually needed women, ‘sisters’ in my world.

It didn’t take me long to realise that I couldn’t attract the kind of friends I wanted unless I was that friend too.

It didn’t take me long to realise that when women talk and share from the heart, good stuff can happen and does.


My life is full of women whom I adore. Who inspire me. Who educate me. Who help me become a better person.

My female friends make me feel good, they make me laugh, they encourage and are there for me when life isn’t so rosy.

Now I know that female friendship really is a beautiful thing. And precious too.

Now I know that whilst many female friendships aren’t always easy, that the good ones, are always worth hanging on to and nurturing.

Now I know that female friendship comes in all kinds of packages.

Now I know that you can find female friendship in the most unlikeliest of places.

Now I know that without my female friends, my mates, my pals, my partners in crime, that my life would be so much poorer.

Now I know what the world tries to keep a secret:

That women together, united and supportive of each other, are a force to be reckoned with.

That female friendship is powerful and giving and damn right fabulous.

That together, as women, we can change the world.

And that it all starts of as friendship.



With love,



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24 Discussions on
“Musings on friendship”
  • Such a strong message – I’m already seeing L go through the bitchiness of girl “friendship” at school, and she’s not even 8 yet! I used to have more male friends than female, but these days 90% of my friends are female, and when a female friendship works well it is so powerful! Girl power :-) xx

    • To quote the spice girls, ‘girl power’ is what it’s all about. Female friendship, when right and healthy, is so powerful. I guess for our daughters all we can do is be the best example and speak positively about other women, always x

  • What a fantastic post. We have more in common than I realised Kate, you’ve just described me up until I turned 22 and I met my best friend. Man I tried to shake her off but through thick and thin, she clung to me. She’s now more like a sister and we speak almost every day.

    And she’s taught me that I can be friends with women and I can trust them. And that has opened up a world of such wonderful support including this new world I find with you, and Vicki, and Zaz. What a fool I was, missing out on so much! I love this post, thank you for sharing it xxxx

    • So glad you loved this post and thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for making me feel not alone! We are indeed finding a new world of friendship and personally I reckon we’re all really lucky to have each other. What a super group! ;-) x

  • Absolutely love this and couldn’t agree more, my feminist mum gave me a badge to wear aged two that read, ‘women together are strong’ and it’s been drummed into me ever since. I believe, I see it and I couldn’t be who I am without the female (and male)frirnds in my life. X

  • I couldn’t agree more on the importance of strong female friendships – there is a very special energy when you spend time with women that you share that bond with, whether it’s one or many. In all honesty, my female relationships have been up and down, and with our relationship’s journey has brought great joy, sadness, disappointment and happy surprises. We’ve talked all night, laughed and comforted, and I cherish the friendships that have stood the test of time so much. The friendships I’ve made recently – you, Vicki, Hannah, Luci, Mirka, Nomita and many more are really special too. Wonderful post my dear xxx

    • Thank you darling. Yes we’re all very fortunate to have met. I couldn’t wish for a lovelier bunch of ladies than you all x

  • My female friends have helped shape me into the person I am today. Some of my closest friends have been in my life since I was three. I’m definitely a girl’s girl and now I have two little girls in my life who will be best friends forever (I hope). Great post Kate xx

    • Ah that’s lovely! Yes, our friends shape us which is why it’s SO important to be surrounded by good ones! x

  • Such a lovely post that echos a lot of my own experience. When we lived in China I made a wonderful set of girlfriends who were pregnant the same time as me and I cherish the support they gave me in those difficult early days so far from home. Unfortunately we’re separated by the miles and I miss them terribly but it showed me that sisterhood is something to cherish. X

  • It’s great that you’ve got such a lovely bunch of girl friends now hon. I think it’s tough to form proper friendships when we’re teenagers and often the best solution seems to be hanging out with the boys. Like you I learned that to have good friends I had to be a good friend first. I now have eight ladies that I am privileged to call my BFF’s – they are my rocks, and have seen me through more ups and downs than Chessington! Another fab post xxx #allaboutyou

  • It took me a long time to trust women as friends.
    Two of my best friends at school suddenly started ignoring me one day and to this day I have no idea why. My best friend out of school ditched me for her first boyfriend. It took me a long time to trust women again as friends and it wasn’t until I met some amazing girls at uni that I got over my phobia. Since being a mum, I have met some amazing mummies who have been so supportive and genuine, I don’t know what I would do without them.

  • I love this post Katie and the fact that you have discovered this wonderful world of sisterhood that exists. I think friendships with men must surely be much more problematical! And I also think that men must feel intimidated and maybe a bit envious of the bond we can have with each other – no amount of bromance will ever come close. X #allaboutyou

  • Oh lovely, I could have written this one. I have felt this way about friendships in the past and it’s so easy to get sucked into the female competition. I like to think I’ve grown it out if it all now though, at least I hope so. Fab post lovely xxx

  • There is something so hugely powerful about a group of women, supporting and loving one another. Women can be all the things you mentioned initially but they can also be all of the positive, uplifting things. I am so grateful for the women who care about me, lift me up and tell me I’m doing ok on a regular basis. I couldn’t do life without them!

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