Last week I did something quite radical and I ditched a book that I’ve been working on for the past few years.
Not so long ago, I signed my first book publishing deal to write an inspirational book about blogging and how it can change your life. At the time I was over the moon! I literally jumped for joy when the contract landed through my letterbox and couldn’t wait to get started, sketching out chapter ideas and quickly getting to work on the intro. I had a photoshoot (thanks Helen!) and things got serious. The title was decided upon, followed by the cover. #BlogLife was happening.
And then it wasn’t.
Just days after having my photograph taken for the front, I found out that I was joyously but unexpectedly pregnant with my son Leo and soon, weeks of morning sickness and exhaustion threw a great big spanner in my productive works. I was fit for nothing and then Leo arrived and suddenly I found that my desire to work on this idea – that I’d originally been so happy about – had left the building.
I would open my laptop and sit staring at a blank screen, waiting for inspiration to strike. Finding the right words, indeed any words, soon became a struggle. My heart just wasn’t in it.
It’s really important to point out here, that throughout all of these life changes my publisher was utterly lovely. Kind and understanding, she gave me both the distance and the time I needed (and wanted) to enjoy being a new mum again and I’m so grateful for that. But it soon became clear to both of us that there was a bit of a problem and so last Friday we sat down to talk things through and I uttered the words I never thought I would say.
“I don’t want to write this book anymore.”
So often in my life I have ignored my gut instinct, but on this occasion, I didn’t and I’m a little bit proud of that. It’s not easy to stick your hand up and admit that something isn’t working or that you’ve changed your mind. Scrapping my book means that both my publisher and I have lost hours of work and I can’t deny that I’m a little embarrassed to come on here and admit to you guys that the book is no longer happening too.
But. My passion for the idea has gone so how could I ever do it, and you, and my publisher, as well as myself, justice? It would be impossible.
Thankfully the gods continue to smile on me and astonishingly my lovely publisher was nothing but supportive, even agreeing with me. She understands that #BlogLife no longer represents me or the direction I’m going in and so just like that, we’ve ditched the book.
But that’s not all my friends. No, no, no.
And this is the exciting bit! Because, wait for it…. I AM STILL WRITING A BOOK! Yes siree! A new book that is a totally different idea, which will be out later this year in autumn.
We’ve yet to nail down the title so I can’t give you that just yet, but what I can say is that it’s a book that’s incredibly close to my heart as it is one that will aim to encourage women to feel better about themselves. I’ll be tackling the issues that affect us women the most and doing my best to challenge your perceptions, so you can look at both your life and yourself through kinder eyes. I’ll be getting honest and sharing personal stories from my life as well as featuring wise words from female experts, to hopefully provide you all with a little pick me up when life just feels, well, a bit too much.
You know when I started this blog back in 2012, it was for one very simple reason. To write honestly about issues that affect women in the hope that it would make others feel less alone. That perhaps my thoughts may help one woman or a couple of women to feel better, happier or ‘normal’.
This is where my true passion as a writer lies. I can’t tell you how incredibly excited I am to be going back to my roots and working on a book that will enable me to do so much more of this. I just really hope you’ll like it. x