WIBBLE, WOBBLE. DOUBT – IT HAPPENS TO THE BEST OF US
YESTERDAY I got the wobbles.
It was a wibbly, wobbly kind of day. Not in the physical sense of course (I am NOT a jelly) but in the emotional, spiritual sense.
I’ve not had one of these feeling-out-of-sorts kind of days for a while. A long while in fact. So it came as quite a bit of a shock.
What the hell is going on here, I thought?! Doubt. That’s what.
Doubt with a capital D.
Doubt in flashing lights.
Doubt in the room, in my head, it’s sirens blaring.
Oh goody.
Recently, I’ve been having one of those lovely rides you get in life sometimes, when everything seems to be coming together and working out just perfectly.
You know the ones I mean, right?
Those rides that have clear direction, a strong purpose, accompanied by calm seas and blue skies.
For weeks I’ve been riding high on life, feeling confident, determined and happy. And then just when I thought, just when I believed, I had it all figured out (silly me), bamn…
I was thrown of my magical carpet ride with no warning and heading back down to earth with a thump.
Ouch.
So what did I do yesterday when I got the wobbles?
Well I did the only thing you can do when you feel the ground is unstable.
Pretty much nothing.
I focused on trying to keep some balance. I focused on not letting it knock me down. “This is ok Kate. Just hang on in there girl!”
But it sure wasn’t pleasant.
I doubted everything and anything as my life and focus became a great big muddle of mess.
Like a broken record – “is this what I want? what am I doing? what kind of people do I want in my life? will this work? am I sure I want to do this?” – went round and round and round, spinning on repeat inside my head.
But then, finally, just before I entered the land of nod last night, the wobbles stopped and my confusion cleared.
With my rose tinted glasses off (and smashed to smithereens by the mental tremors) I could finally see.
I had clarity.
I could see that my loyal friend fear was back, barging in without a welcome.
I could see that my self belief was wavering.
And I could see that my inner voice, had taken to shouting, at the top of its lungs, because I’d been ignoring it’s gentle whispers of wisdom.
Doubt is a weed.
A dark mental weed that like all weeds will spread and tangle and strangle, if you don’t take action.
It will tangle your thoughts.
It will strangle your self belief.
It will spread everywhere and can penetrate everything, even the most seemingly indestructible of minds. Pushing up, making the ground unstable, giving us those awful wibble wobbles, forcing us to feel uneasy.
But.
Sometimes, sometimes, we need things to shake us to our very core.
Sometimes, we have to do the work that is required, so we can make our minds tidy again.
Sometimes the ground has to become unstable, for us to work on making our foundations solid.
Doubt, just like any other weed, has its purpose.
And today?
Well, thankfully, it’s not speaking to me today. Today, it appears to have gone back underground.
But let me tell you, those wibble wobbles of yesterday?
They haven’t half done me a favour.
Because my path – my future path – albeit incredibly messy today, has never looked clearer.
In fact, if I look really hard, I’m sure I can see a unicorn waiting for me, right at the very bottom, ready to take me on my next adventure.
——-
Just a little reminder that I’ve been shortlisted for the BiBs2015. Please vote for ‘Pouting In Heels’ under the WRITER category, if you like my ramblings, rants and words. Thank you! x
With love,
Kate
This is kinda related to the other post I just commented on. I personally think doubt fades away when you surround yourself with the right type of people, if you know what I mean? I think being a writer or a blogger can be a very solitary job and so I think it’s important to adopt co-workers or friends who support and believe in you and get what it’s all about. That can be online or IRL. I also think that if you spend too much time on your own, it’s inevitable to end up battling self-doubt.
I try to blog hop and network online a lot, which certainly helps. Saying that, I totally understand how you feel, we all struggle with self-doubt every now and again. Good to hear you’re feeling better today :)
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I certainly do know what you mean, you’re absolutely right on. It’s imperative when we have moments of doubt to make sure we have good, supportive, inspirational people around us to help us see sense, find our direction and feel inspired. There’s absolutely nothing worse for the spirit when you’re feeling doubtful, than someone with bad energy coming along to make you feel even more lost. Brilliant comment x
A brilliant post Kate. We all have these wobbles and I’m sure the higher you climb the more wobbly you get. Whenever I think of bloggers who ‘have it sorted’ you are one of them, and (I’m not trying to be mean) it’s nice to know that you too falter sometimes. This is one of those posts that makes me love your blog even more, you’re a real person, with real feelings.
I’m glad that you’re feeling better and you’re right, sometimes we need to stumble in order to see things more clearly. It can do us good.
I hope you catch up with that unicorn! ;)
Thank you so much Morgan! One of the reasons why I shared my ol ‘wibble wobble’ is because so often we hear about people achieving and feeling great, but we don’t often hear people talk about their struggles. I’m always trying to address that balance. :)
Thank you for such a super comment xxx
Oh Katie apart from the fact this makes me feel better about my own wobbles your writing is just so perfect. Honestly darling I just drink in your words and wallow in them a while you are such a brilliant writer.
I think it’s a self-preservation thing, when everything appears to be swimming along perfectly it is completely normal to have feelings of doubt but you have nothing to worry about.
You just have to believe, I think that is what you would say to me :-) xxx
Oh Amy, thank you so much darling! That is so kind – I don’t know what quite to say (Which isn’t like me!. But you are so wise and spot on, it’s a self-preservation thing and as I tried to point out in the post, certainly not all bad. And don’t worry, I am believing :) Thank you xxx
Oh lovely, so sorry you are going through this, but we all do! I had a very rough few days, but then I spent more time with my girls and hubby and realised that they are the most important people in my life, and that I I worry about silly things. Hope you are feeling better xxx
Ah thank you darling! I really am! Feeling happier and clearer about life. xxx
A great, honest post, and one I can really emathise with.
I’m the kind of person who lacks a lot of confidence and constantly doubts himself – I sometimes refer to Doubt as ‘my constant companion’. I don’t think doubt will ever go away – it’s in my nature to be highly self-critical – but there are days when I can keep a lid on it easily enouyh and then there are days when I can feel the paralysis creeping over me. There have been a few too many of those recently and I don’t really know why, as I’ve been pretty content and settled. Ah well.
Thanks so much Tim – very kind of you. As I said in the headline – it happens to the best of us, even you! Doubt happens to all of us, all the time, but as you say the trick – if and when possible – is to not let it take over. I also know that for me, much of my doubt, stems from fear. Fear of being judged, fear of messing up, fear of failing. And the only way to tackle fear? To fight it of course. Hope you have more confident days soon.
Those moments of self-doubt can be overwhelming – they are something I struggle with frequently but I like your positive approach about how Doubt often helps us see things with more clarity too. Sorry to hear about your wobbly day but glad it has helped you see things more clearly too.
Thank you Louise, it most definitely has. Doubt can be dreadful and debilitating – no doubt about that (get it!) – but I think if you can keep it in its place somehow, acknowledge it but don’t let it knock you over – it can really work wonders in helping you sort things out x
I like your weed analogy, really good. It does feel like that. I find it is so much harder as a full time parent to find the time to sort myself out. I used to have tricks I would use when I had a wobble to set myself straight but find now, with no time to myself ever, it gets harder and harder. I think I need to try and treat it as a weed! Maybe wine could be my weed killer! That would be nice!
Lucy – you are a genius! I think wine would work perfectly ;-)
I’m thrilled you like the weed analogy,thank you for that! It is hard, especially when you’re a parent to sort the ol’ wobbles out. One, because you’re just so damn busy and 2) because, being a parent bring a whole skip full of doubts! Haha! I think the key – which I’m beginning to learn – is try and find some peace, ride it out and pay attention x
Definitely NOT pleasant… But vital moments of reflection <3
– As beautifully written a post as always Kate.
I hope you find your feet on firm solid ground once again, and every time x
Ah thank you Steph, that’s so lovely of you to say. *test ground*- yep, feeling much more solid today ;-) x
Doubt, though horrible to experience, can be a force for good. Keeps the ego in check, makes you stop and think and can be a form of energy. It’s also marvellous when it lifts! #BrilliantBlog Posts
Exactly John! Exactly. It’s sure not pleasant but as you say and as I’ve recognised, it’s a great way to reassess your life and decisions.
Lovely post. I’m having a very wobbly phase, for very personal/emotional reasons, and I know there’s not much I can do but work through it and trust that I will get to a better place. It’s always an opportunity to learn and grow so you’re right, we need these moments in some ways too. Glad you’re back on form x
Oh Uju darling, you really will. I don’t know why the biggest lessons hurt so much or cause so much upset, but they are there for us to learn and grow. Thinking of you at this difficult time and sending love and praying for your firmer ground. x
Hello Katie,
I have so many of those days. Doubt seems to be my best friend nowadays.
I believe is due to the fact that my parents never nurture or support my choices.
That’s why ‘ve been lost all my life with what I want to do. Mistakes and failure make part of my life and I believe I am the person I am today because of that.
Maybe now I am founding my way, but still doubting. :)
Thank you for the post, now I know that I’m not alone in this.
xx Marta
Ah Marta, i’m so sorry to hear that doubt is your best friend often. As I said in the piece, it does have its place in our lives but it should also know its place too! Please don’t let it hinder you and your growth. Parents have such a huge impact on us – good and bad – but there comes a point when we have to know our own worth and act accordingly. Here’s hoping the doubt disappears back underground for you, very, very soon. x
Again spot on Katie! I call these the big IF’s. IF being irrational fears. Then think through ‘what if….the big IF did happen?? What would I do how would I cope??’ I either realise the fear is either completely ridiculous and disproportionate to reality thus not worth worrying about.Or I find a solution I feel stronger in being able to manage my fears. It’s my way of gaining perspective.
Brilliant comment Hannah! Like you I definitely find that a great deal of my doubts come from that horrid fear. Love your pragmatic approach!
Oh my lovely lady, the wobbles are to be expected every now and then, hope they didn’t last too long. Huge hugs, hopefully there’s a unicorn waiting for all of us xxxxx
They didn’t, don’t you worry. I reckon a unicorn waiting for all of us, is the very least we should expect ;-) Rainbows, pots of gold, twinkling stars are also welcome and lovely too. xx
Brilliant post Kate can really relate to this, this we all get those moments when we doubt ourselves but it is really reassuring to hear others do as well thanks for linking u to #sundaystars
Thank you Amy. It’s important to keep things ‘real’ isn’t it? Sometimes we all feel like we’re the only ones going through something, which I don’t think is ever really the case! x
OMG Kate you could have wrote this about me this week, I have felt exactly the same, but it’s so hard to put it into words without is sounding negative, you have done it so beautifully and positively. But I can 100% relate to this, this week. Self doubt is something that can knock you confidence so much isn’t it, for me lots of indirect comments that have really made me doubt myself, my blog and worthiness. But like you say surround yourself with the right people who have your best interests at heart has to be the way forward x
Ah Sarah – it’s funny how sometimes we find posts / articles etc when we need them! So sorry to hear you felt similar – doubt sucks doesn’t it – but I’m hoping you’re back on more confident feet and on firmer less wobbly ground now! Thanks for your lovely comment x
Doubt can be so crippling can’t it? Self-doubt can hinder you from achieving great things. I have been feeling a bit like this lately and so I am glad I can relate to you on this. Positive people and support is the key isn’t it? Great post :) Jess x #sundaystars
Thanks Jess. It really can – it sure made me feel pretty crippled last week. But yes positive people and support is important, as is, being aware of it and seeing it for what it is. Often we put ourselves under so much pressure too I think! Hope you’re feeling less doubtful and more ‘up and at ’em now!’x
Having some wibbly, wobbly days lately also, too many. I needed to see this! Thanks so much. And I also wanted you to know that I voted for you in the BIBs, love your blog and your message! Have a great week!
Ah my absolute pleasure Nikki, wibbly wobbly days are a nuisance but if we can see them for what they are and listen, they have heaps to tell us! :) And thank you so, so much for voting for me. I am incredibly touched. (Truly) x
Definitely happens to us all. I wrote about confidence last week and linked to a post within it on overcoming self-doubt, it’s something all we creatives experience, and comes with the territory, but it’s so important to push it away, to face the fear and do it anyway, to conquer the nerves, lack in confidence and push through. Fab post. Thanks too for linking up to #brilliantblogposts x
Thanks darling. As you say it happens to all of us, but so important to try and push through it and remain fearless! x P.S Must pop over to read that confidence post soon x
I am sorry you had the wobbles honey, you have absolutely NO reason to doubt yourself. You are an amazing writer, and fabulous person but I know it is natural from time to time. It is great that it gave you clarity. You had me at Unicorn ;) xxx
Thank you darling. So so lovely of you to say. :) XXX
Amazing post Kate!!! Such strong imagery :) I have a few weeds of my own I need to pull out, in fact I’d say my own brain garden is a bit riddled with them. I think I’d better get the weed killer out ;) xxx
Again, it’s like you say what I want to say. Brilliant post. Self doubt in small measures is good to stay grounded. It can consume me when I get a touch of it but by the time my mind has processed it properly all is clear again – as you pointed out. Fabulous post as always. Please never stop writing. You are amazing. Xxx
Yes, yes and yes! I totally relate to this. I think most of us can. The trick really is to grab those wobbles of doubt before they completely take over.
Thank you for this!
x
I can absolutely relate to this! I can be swimming along quite nicely, and then something I’ve read, or just a bad morning with the kids, can make me question my choices and anxiety sets in. It takes a lot of will power to get out of this funk, but I do get there (with the help of the hubby most times). I hope it’s normal for us all to have these insecurities. It’s making sure they don’t overwhelm us, that’s the important thing x