WHEN LIFE GETS WEIRD (& THINGS START TO CRUMBLE)

TO be fair most people would argue my life has been pretty odd since the day I was born. (*winks*)

But you know what I’m talking about right?

That sense that everything in your world just isn’t going to plan. When things feel like they’re falling apart and no matter how hard you try, everything just doesn’t want to work out. Like it should or like it normally does.

You work harder but nope, things still fall apart. You try different stuff, but uh-oh, that doesn’t work either.

These ‘head-scratcher-what-the-hell-is-going-on (!)’, times suck when they happen. I’m going through one of these phases right now, have been for a while and they’re tough.

My ‘why is my life going so weird?!’ phase started a few years ago but over the past six months or so seems to have picked up speed and now be at full throttle!

Relationships with some people have broken down. Some irreversibly, others temporarily. It’s like everywhere I look, I’m seeing everyone with a fresh pair of eyes.

Whilst work wise, at the moment, I just can’t seem to catch a break.

I’m currently struggling to attract new work with clients – which is something that I’ve rarely gone through before – and on a couple of occasions recently, I’ve had my skills mocked and criticised which sure works wonders at taking the wind out of your sails a bit.

I should add at this point that not everything in my life is falling apart (thank goodness!) and that some recent developments make me more thankful than ever.

But that feeling that life is trying to teach me one hell of a lesson at the moment? Well I just can’t shake it. Because I truly think it is.

Yesterday as I scrolled through my Facebook timeline I came across this quote, shared by a friend and it made me smile because it’s exactly where I feel I am right now.

 

“You know great things are coming when everything seems to be going wrong. Old energy is clearing out for new energy to enter. Be patient!”

 

That everything seems to be ‘going wrong’ because – fingers crossed! – something greater is coming.

But it doesn’t often feel this way does it? When our lives feel out of control or when we seem to be on the receiving end of all that is unfair or unjust. It can feel the universe and everyone in it is conspiring against us.

My late teens were the unhappiest years of my life.

I was a mixed up young woman living in utter turmoil. I hated myself – not that I knew that at the time – and I longed to find happiness and as trite as it sounds, love.

I was desperate for someone to fix me, to take away the knot of pain and angst that was always wallowing in the pit of my stomach and because of this, I made mistake after mistake.

Eventually the cracks in my life turned into breaks and the Katie I was then, did indeed shatter. My life completely fall apart.

But whilst I wouldn’t wish those god damn awful few years on anyone, I still remain grateful and indebted to them and whilst I am often embarrassed and ashamed to think back to those painful years, I would still chose to go through them and live them again.

The turbulence in my life at this time and the never ending dramas I found myself in, was – without doubt – the very making of me and the beginnings of the woman that I am today.

Hindsight is a beautiful thing.

So I know what it’s like to feel your life crumbling around you. I’ve been there before. And in some ways I can now easily recognise that I am here again. (Although in a much lesser way.)

It leaves you feeling totally shaken but then I wonder…doesn’t life need to shake us to get to the heart, to get to our core?

Because when we are shaken, we are forced to adapt and change. Made to question everything about ourselves and others. We’re taken off in a different direction to a different location that often never makes sense. Until, we arrive there.

So yes, my lovely life seems to be crumbling in a few places at the moment but you know what? I am actually trying my hardest to remain patient on this one whilst doing my best to keep everything together.

A little older and a little wiser, this time around I already feel like I’m benefitting from the ‘weirdness’ and oddly, very oddly, I really do feel that I’m on the right track.

Although where I’ll end up? Well who knows…your guess is as good as mine.

Let’s just hope the sun is shining when I get there.

 



Lips

 

 

 

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10 Discussions on
“WHEN LIFE GETS WEIRD (& THINGS START TO CRUMBLE)”
  • The past 3 and a bit years have thrown all sorts of shit at us as a family. In some ways it has felt like my world was crumbling and falling apart yet at the same time it also felt like the most important things, like my marriage and immediate family were being pulled closer together and actually despite all the shit I’ve learnt some extremely valuable life lessons. I’ve also learnt that I am bloody tough and it’s gonna take a lot to make this girl fall or break.
    Things do happen for a reason, sometimes that reason isn’t clear for a very very long time but it usually all works out in the end. Hope your weird phase is over for you soon though, ready to let in that new positive energy. Xx

    • Thanks so much Franki and you’re absolutely right. All the tough stuff, the challenges, the dilemmas, none are pleasant at the time but they sure do end up being the making of us. I absolutely believe that. Hope things are much better for you all now. x

  • Ah lovely I got things start to get better for you soon – it’s not been a great year for us either and as a positive person I have definitely struggled. I love that quote and hope it’s true!

    • Thanks Natalie. I don’t think 2016 has been a good year for many has it – something in the water perhaps?! – but I hope, really hope, it bucks up for you too. I swear by that quote… all will be well lovely x

  • I had a similar situation with my career last year, I was devastated how people I thought I could trust acted, its true you find out who your friends are at times like these. But your quote is so true because if that had not have happened I wouldn’t be in the place I am now and so much happier, keep smiling Kate you are fab xx

  • Oh lovely, I am so sorry that I have been so wrapped up in my own little world I hadn’t read any of these posts. I had just noticed that you weren’t really appearing in my timeline anymore on social media. There are times in life when everything feels like it is crumbling around you. That you’ve hit rock bottom. I too had to have my life completely collapse before I could claw my way out of the rubble and emerge a stronger person. And as you say, you look back and know that those experiences have made you who you are. They have shaped you. Defined you. And yet it is still terrifying when things start to fall again and you feel like you are going back to that awful place. I hope that the sun shines again for you soon lovely. I know it will. And you will appear like a Phoenix from the ashes and be stronger and more beautiful than ever. Hugs Lucy xxxx

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