I KNOW nothing.
Ok, so maybe not nothing but definitely, very little.
If I was an owl, I would be rubbish, because you know they’re supposed to be wise and well, I’m far from that.
It’s my birthday tomorrow and I will be turning the ripe young age of 36. And so, last night when I was thinking what to write about today, I thought, I know! I’ll share some stuff that I’ve learned over my 36 years.
Which was great, until I realised I already kinda covered that last year. For my birthday.
Oh, and that if I had to actually share the stuff I’d learned this year, I would struggle for content.
So instead I’ve decided I’m going to talk about the stuff that I don’t really know. The stuff I still haven’t cracked.
The messy complicated life stuff that I’m still processing and figuring out in my little pea-head. (That used to be my nickname you know.)
The stuff that throws me off balance. The stuff that disturbs my sleep and shows up in my dreams. The stuff that makes me sad and feel like utter s**t at times.
So today, I have zero answers (feel free to leg it, right about now if you wish).
But please, if you do, pop them on a (birthday) card and send them to me won’t you? Thanks folks.
Ok, here we go…
I SHOULDN’T TRY SO HARD WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE HORRID
I’m really hoping I’m not the only one to do this!
But, I often find myself trying harder with those people who are awful or unkind to me. Even when I know I deserve better. Even when I know the person is a bit of a d**k.
I don’t know why or where it comes from, but I am always compelled to make them be nicer to me! Which means I’m often ridiculously nice or bend over backwards to help or accommodate their needs.
And I hate myself for it.
I’m pretty good at walking away from idiots (check out my three strike rule and you’ll see what I mean *says proudly*), but just not ever fast enough. And not before I’ve put my life and soul into trying to make them like me!
I know I do it. I know I need to stop doing it. But somehow, sometimes, I just can’t stop.
I HAVE TO STOP ALLOWING NARCISSISTS IN MY LIFE
‘Me, myself and I’ people seem to love me. Like seriously lurve me.
Perhaps because I’m interested in people. Perhaps because I ask questions. (Once a journo, always a journo). Perhaps because I smile. Who the hell knows?
But I find them wherever I go.
Or should I say they find me. At university, at work, in the supermarket. You name it. If someone is a narcissist, they will hunt me out.
I’m getting great at spotting them now (I recognise the signs) but can I stop them finding me and somehow entering my world? Can I ‘eck as like.
But I’m working on it.