I can still remember the first time I saw the new girl at school.
Ten years old, she was my first girl crush.
Pretty, stylish, fun and happy, she seemed to have it all.
When she didn’t know I was looking, I would gaze at her across the playground or during assembly and marvel at her cool clothes, that set her apart from all of us.
She wore raa raa skirts with sneakers and I thought she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She also excelled at everything, being bright as a button and naturally sporty.
Everyone loved her and how could they not?
She really was something special. Someone wonderful to behold.
I totally understood their adoration for her because I was one of her adorers. And yet even though I idolised her and loved to be in her presence, being around her also bothered me.
I didn’t understand it at the time.
As a young girl at primary school, I couldn’t quite figure out why I felt so uneasy around her.
But now, as a woman, I do and can. Now as a woman I totally get it.
It was the feeling that when her light shone so bright, mine dimmed in comparison.