SASS tips: How to become bolder


A WHILE ago I wrote a piece on why it was time for us ladies to get sassy!

If you missed it you can catch it here.

The post really seemed to ‘speak’ to many of you so I thought it was about time we got the ball rolling with some sass tips! (And a competition! See bottom of post for info.)

First up, are some tips on being bold but never reckless. For this post I decided to bring in a little outside help and gain some insight from someone who really knows what being bold is all about!

Nicky Valantine is a life coach who specialises in helping people to overcome their fear, offering training and workshops based on the book ‘Feel the Fear… and Do It Anyway®’  by Susan Jeffers.

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Luckily for us the wonderful (and sassy) Nicky has kindly offered to provide three top tips on how we can gather our courage and fight our fears.

Because let’s face it, life becomes a hell of a lot more interesting when we live it boldly!

Read and soak it all up! x

Be courageous

1. Stop playing the ‘when…then’ game; (e.g. when I don’t feel worried, anxious, scared …  then I can do IT)

Fear of the unknown is what is holding you in your comfort zone even though at times it can be very painful.

So be bold and know that ‘when…then’ can be changed to  NOW! Now is the time to do something different.

Know that every bold step you take expands your life and creates new and exciting experiences that enable you to grow and trust yourself. The more you do, it the easier it gets.

Also, remember to have fun and start each bold action with a smile as smiling tells our subconscious mind that we are enjoying the action and the memory is stored.

2.  Remember the times when you did do IT! How good was that?

Repeat, repeat, repeat and celebrate every time!

It takes around 7 – 21 times for us to create a new habit. So by bringing bold actions into your daily life you are creating new ways of thinking, being or doing.

By doing new actions over and over again, the brain will create a new programme that will run effortlessly. It’s a bit like learning to ride a bike. Even if you have not done it for a while, the brain is programmed and waiting to be triggered.

Again, smile, tell yourself how great it is and then get back on your bike, ride boldly again and have some fun!

3.   Know that doing the IT’s is the way to living a sassy lifestyle.

It takes courage to be bold. When you act courageously you are able to confront fear, pain and uncertainty.

Courage in Latin means from the heart, the core of you. So grab your IT’s boldly and with courage!

Go forward boldly, knowing that you are a wonderful, sassy woman living life from your heart’s centre. What an awesome way to live!


Big thank you to Nicky for sharing her tips!

Till the next time, be fearless!



Want to learn more about how you can fight your fears?
Nicky has very kindly offered one free ‘fight the fear’ Sheffield based workshop place as a special Pouting In Heels prize!
To be in with a chance of winning the prize, simply leave a comment below explaining why you deserve to win. Nicky and I will then choose the winner, as the person whom we think will benefit the most from the workshop. The competition will close at the end of the month.
All Pouting In Heels readers can also get 20 per cent off a workshop place. You can find out more about Nicky’s workshops here: Simply quote ‘sassy’ when booking! x
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6 Discussions on
“SASS tips: How to become bolder”
  • Thanks Katie – and Nicky – for another inspirational post. I loved your previous post about becoming more sassy, and would love to make the tips in there my mantra!

    I would absolutely love to win a place on the ‘Feel the Fear’ workshop in Sheffield because I have struggled with anxiety and low self-esteem for the past couple of years in particular. I thought I was coming through most of it but I can feel I am currently going through a bit of a resurgence and am just so fed up of feeling like I’m being held back from being the best that I can be due to anxious feelings and niggling self-doubt. I am desperate to grab life by the you know whats and be sassy through and through! x

  • Brilliant post. I would love to win the place on your course as I need to make a desperately, huge leap of faith in to the unknown. I need change.
    For years – the last 15 at least – I have bumped around in circles, trying everything I can to succeed at all the things I don’t really want to do. But only really succeeding in being miserable and unfulfilled. The things I want to do, the careers I dreamed of, the relationships i want, I hide from – I am living in hiding, too scared to try in case I fail. no one would no this though, as the one thing I really succeed at is ‘the act.’
    The past couple of years this feeling of hiding has become unbearable – I want to hide but I can’t do it anymore. This has resulted in a rather large breakdown and what did I do to help me move on from said breakdown? Nothing – went straight back in to ‘hiding’ in the same job etc. I didn’t get better – doesn’t take a genius to work out why and now I fear I’m teetering on the brink of it again. I need change.
    At the same time I don’t know how to change, how to instigate it, how to silence the screaming, all consuming fear that takes over when I think about it.
    That’s why. That’s my reason. That’s why I deserve the place. Please.

    • Powerful stuff! Thank you for entering and good luck! Winner will be announced on the blog in early May x

      P.S You can fight that fear. Really you can. Be bold and just be you! x

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