MAKE 2016 YOUR YEAR, TO BE KIND, TO YOU

I DON’T believe in New Year resolutions.

I don’t like the pressure, the feeling that we’re all somehow not good enough or the expectation that we all need to change something.

However.

All that aside, I do absolutely, hand on heart, totally and utterly adore New Year and the inescapable buzz of transformation, hope and excitement that hangs in the air.

Because whilst I don’t believe in making a mammoth list of resolutions… I do believe in change. I do believe in personal growth. And I do believe in me. And in you.

Every day is a new opportunity for change. A chance to try something different, tackle something or boldly step where we haven’t before.

As I said on Twitter the other day, you can change or make changes any day you wish! Not just over the New Year.

And it’s important to bear that in mind I reckon, because sometimes we forget that the potential to make change is always within us. That it doesn’t just pop up before New Year and then vanish into thin air.

That potential? It is always there, waiting to be stoked. New Year or not.

So, if you want to change something, hell lady, go for it! Want to revamp your life, you got my respect! But just keep an eye on that pressure you feel. Because whilst today is a great day to do something differently, if it all feels all too much, there’s really nothing wrong in trying again tomorrow.

So no, there will be no New Year resolutions for me this year. But that’s not to say I’m not making changes or working on things.

In 2016, there is one thing that I’ve decided I want to pay great attention to. One thing that I am determined to improve. And that is in the area of kindness.

And not in regards to you, or my daughter, or the bloke down the street or the elderly lady in the supermarket. (Although being kinder to everyone is super important!)

But, to ME.

Yes folks you’ve heard it hear first! This year is all about me being kinder to myself. And I’d love it, like absolutely ‘jump with joy’ love it, if you’d join me on this little mission / journey / transformation too.

Because I want you also to be kinder to yourself this year. And I’d like you to try and start today.

Yesterday I read in the news, that a recent study has shown that on average, women criticise themselves at least eight times a day.

EIGHT TIMES A DAY! And I don’t know about you, but I reckon that’s an underestimate.

Have a think for a moment about how many times you’ve criticised yourself today so far? At the time of writing this, I’ve been up over three hours and I’m already at four.

Ouch.

Women. We are our own harshest critics. We criticise and judge ourselves far too much and far too unfairly.

We’re just not very good at being kind to ourselves, are we?

We do a brilliant job of being kind to others – our partners, our children, relatives, friends and strangers. We do a cracking job of helping the needy, the sick and the vulnerable.

But when it comes to ourselves? Well, don’t we just suck at it?!

I came up with my little kindness mission a few days before New Year after I read a smashing post (it’s a must read!) from my wise blogging friend, Michelle AKA The Joy Chaser.

In her latest post, Michelle urges people to choose a word that resonates with them, for 2016.

And so this is the word I came up with. My word of the year. Yup, when it comes to 2016, kindness to self, is where it’s at.

Have you found your stage

Out of all the words that came to me, this one stood out. And the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve realised why.

Because you see, kindness to ourselves is, the essential nourishment that we need in order to grow. Everything needs to come from here and nothing can, or will, flourish, without it.

Wanna run a marathon this year? Well you need to be kind to yourself, so you can find the time to train.

Wanna change your career in 2016? Well you need to be kind to yourself, so you can find that inner confidence to go for it.

Want to be happier with your life? Well, you need to be kind to yourself, so you can give yourself a god damned break sometimes.

Kindness. Kindness. Kindness.

Everything comes from here. The kinder we are to ourselves, the more change we will see.

Our inner voices will become more positive. The pressure we put on ourselves, and allow others to put on us, will ease. We will learn to treat ourselves better which will help us make healthier and happier choices. We will make ourselves a priority in our lives and we will learn to feel good about it too.

The simple thought of being kinder to ourselves, holds a lot of power and promise.

So lady, if you’re sat there today feeling stuck with your life, weight, happiness or health, kindness to yourself is a really good place to start.

————

Happy New Year you lovely lot! Here’s to a cracker of a year ahead! 

With love,

Kate

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20 Discussions on
“MAKE 2016 YOUR YEAR, TO BE KIND, TO YOU”
  • I could hug this post. It’s been heartening to see a ‘kind’ backlash against the pressures of unrealistic expectations and ‘new year / new you’ nonsense.

    I’ve taken to silencing my inner critic by saying ‘shut up brain’ out loud. It’s a little shock to break state and stop the endless pointless psychodramas.

    There’s some great TED talks on compassion you might find interesting.
    https://www.ted.com/talks/joan_halifax?language=en
    https://www.ted.com/talks/daniel_goleman_on_compassion/transcript?language=en

    • Thank you! I love the ‘shouting out’ loud advice too. Brilliant! Thanks for the TED talks. I do love watching these! x

  • Oh Katie how I love this and thanks so much for the mention too! I’m a huge fan of being kind to yourself and while I have a bunch of posts about growth and change that I’m excited about posting this year I’m conscious of the pressure change can cause. Making a mental note to reference this post in mine for that very reason! Fab post darling and a very happy new year xxx

    • Ah thank you darling! I thought and hoped this may resonate with you. I think some pressure with change is good, healthy and needed, but I guess the key is not letting it overwhelm us or make us fear making a mistake. Happy New Year too! XX

  • Happy New Year Kate! I refuse to say the word ‘resolution’, I prefer having loose goals/intentions so I have something to aim for, but don’t beat myself up if they don’t all get done. We should definitely all be kinder to ourselves, as most of us achieve a lot with our lives/time, more than we think we do. I will give myself a pat on the back more often this year! Hope 2016 is fab for you x

    • Thanks Becky! I think I’m similar, loose goals and intentions are wonderful. Resolutions that feel pressured and stressful, not so much! ;-) And you’re absolutely right! We achieve WAY more in 12 little months than we realise we do. I always think that’s part of the appeal of blogging, you get to see how far you’ve come :) Wishing you a smashing 2016 too! x

  • Eight times a day? Blimey that’s ridiculous :( I agree that kindness must start with looking in the mirror, liking what we see and being nice to ourselves. Otherwise what message are we sending to our children? Another fab post lovely. Happy New Year xx

    • I know, bonkers isn’t it. Although when I caught myself yesterday, I was shocked at how many times I’d been critical of myself in just a few hours. Scary really. It definitely all starts with kindness doesn’t it?! Happy New Year too my darling. X

  • Oh hun I love this and what a great goal for the year not resolution but something to focus on. You are too right we can change anything at any time why does it have to be for new years. Being kinder to myself that’s a tough one but we should be. We really are so hard on ourselves. I am trying to take life slower, not rush in everything I do to keep myself from being harder on myself as I try to fit too many things all into one day and don’t appreciate it all as I rush through it. Eight times I bet that is highly underestimate or the ones that are stronger than me just keep the number lower for the rest of us. lol Happy New Year!

  • I am definitely kinder to myself now than I was this time last year but there is still progress to be made. For me I think it’s important to remember it’s not just about the words we say to ourselves but making time for ourselves to do something that’s important to us. In the last few months I have got up earlier just so that I can have a good 30 minutes peace and quiet to myself before the madness of the day starts. My husband can tell within 10 minutes of him waking up when I’ve decided to have the extra time in bed. Self care is an important act of being kind to ourselves I think.

    • Gosh it so is Rachel! And I think more of us need to realise it. We cannot give of ourselves what we haven’t go to give. Love the sound of you getting up early in the morning. That little time to ourselves is so important and we can all find it, even if it’s just 10 or 15 mins somewhere. Here’s to more kindness (To self) this year!

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