A LOVE LETTER TO MUMS, FROM A MUM

TOMORROW is Valentine’s Day.

( I know, I know, I’m sorry but just bear with me…)

Anyway in the spirit of sharing some love on the ol’ blog and celebrating the silliest / most romantic / cringeworthy (you choose) day of the year, I’ve decided to break away from romantic love or talk of nookie and instead focus on motherhood.

You see, on Tuesday morning, I was invited to speak on BBC Radio Sheffield and join in a debate about whether or not we thank our parents enough. I’ll be honest it wasn’t my finest five minutes of fame (I rambled a lot on this occasion – I blame sleep deprivation!) but it got me thinking…

D0 people really appreciate us mums in general? And do we get the thanks we deserve? Well, I don’t know about you but I don’t think they do. I also don’t think we appreciate ourselves nowhere near enough either.

None of us do this amazing job for thanks or praise or recognition. We just do it and get on with it because our kids are our world. Because our love for them is all consuming.

But you know what, sometimes it’s rather lovely to hear you’re doing ok. Sometimes it’s nice to be given a pat on the back. Especially when you’re having a tough ol’ parenting day. (You know the ones I mean.)

And so with love in the air, for wonderful mums everywhere (nothing like a bit of poetry)…this is my love letter to you. X

———

Dear mums,

To all the mums out there who haven’t had time to brush their teeth today yet, I salute you.

To all the mums who have battled with testy toddlers and traffic and nursery drops off, just to get to work, I give you a big ol’ high five. To all the mums who’ve been up all night and are wondering how they will survive the day, I just want to tell you, that you are doing an amazing job. And I love you.

In fact, I love you all. I love your resilience, determination, warmth, courage, humour, kindness and intelligence.

And I love what you do for your children.

Mums – you are amazing.

Each and every single one of you. I know you probably don’t feel like it, I know sometimes you’ll feel like you haven’t got a bloody clue about the whole thing and I know sometimes you’ll feel totally overwhelmed. But let me tell you again.

You are amazing.

You – mum/ mama/ mummy / mother –are the centre of your child’s universe. You’re the one they run to when they’re joyful or in pain. You’re the one who knows them best, you there, with your natural mummy sixth sense and incredible mummy powers.

You’re the one with the incredible cuddles that your child needs when she is sick, frightened or upset. You are the one.

Yes it’s overwhelming. Yes it’s sometimes feels like too huge a responsibility. Yes you sometimes just want a god damn break for five minutes.

But, just think about that for a minute. You are the ONE.

Going into motherhood is one of the bravest things I think any woman can do.

We never know what the actual outcome will be. We don’t know how our pregnancy will turn out. We don’t know how we will cope with a child (let’s face it, they don’t come with manuals) and we don’t know how we could ever cope with the heartbreak if we are not one of the lucky ones to take our child home or watch them grow up.

We put ourselves right in the firing line of agony and that my friends, takes a hell of a lot of courage.

When we become mums – especially for the first time – we are told everything we should or should not do. We are watched and judged. We lose ourselves a little as we struggle with our new bundle of joy. And we have to dig deep. Dig deep and find the ability, soul and stamina to do the job. And that my friends, takes enormous amounts of self belief and determination.

Motherhood is relentless, there is no break. Day in, day out, it’s our job to be there. It’s a party from which we can never leave early nor would want to. And that my friends, takes a hell of a lot of stamina.

Motherhood is challenging and fraught with problems, at every age, at every stage. We ‘google’, we try new things, we adapt, we learn and we grow – just as much as they do – from one thing to another. And that my friends, takes a hell of a lot of willingness and problem solving.

Motherhood takes us to the extremes of both happiness and despair. Guilt pops up every day. The world becomes a scarier place. Our hearts burst with pride. It makes us softer, more tearful, more emotional and opens up a well of feeling that we never knew we possessed.

It makes us vulnerable. And that my friends, is scary.

With motherhood, there are no walls to hide behind, no guarantees, no obvious solutions, no easy decisions. Just a love and desire to do the best we can for our children. Always.

Whether you’re a mum to one child or ten children. Whether you are someone’s birth mum or adoptive mum.

Whether your child was taken from you far too young or whether you are blessed to have your child in your life right now. Whether your child is a newborn or a fully fledged adult. When you become a mum, you are always a mum.

It’s a lifetime of work. An eternal job. A never ending love affair.

We are the fiercest warriors. The greatest peace keepers. The best teachers. And our child’s first and most important ever love.

Mums – you are amazing. And I love you all.

————-

With love,

Kate

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