LIFE: Learning to be still…
LAST week I wrote about taking some time out, to be still for a while.
After feeling pretty stressed by a never ending to do list, I gave myself permission to chill out and guess what folks, it’s working! Even though this week has been a little challenging, I’m already feeling much more relaxed about stuff.
It’s actually pretty hard learning to be still. Especially when you’re used to cramming as much as possible into every minute of every day. But I’ve made some progress and it’s definitely helping.
Over the last week I’ve started :
* Relaxing (a little) when Elsie has her nap
Before I’d use those 30-40 precious minutes (that I get twice a day) to squeeze in as many little jobs as I could.
Now? Well I sit my bottom down and enjoy a cup of tea. Yes, I still check my work emails, but it’s a start.
* Prioritising
I’ve learnt that I can only do, what I can do. Afterall, there are only so many hours in a day.
Now when I quickly run through my head the list of jobs that need doing, I prioritise HARD. When it comes to my to do list I’m getting brutal.
First and foremost my priority is looking after Elsie and being an ‘active mummy’. Not a distracted mummy, not a stressed mummy (both of which I was in danger of becoming) but a mummy who has plenty of time for fun and cuddles and isn’t constantly exhausted.
The pots that need washing? The clothes that need ironing? Now, unless they’re Elsie’s, they can damn well wait.
* Being less than ‘perfect’
Yesterday I was zero yummy and 100 per cent slummy. I was make up free, dressed in the blandest of outfits and had unwashed hair (which for me is virtually unheard of). I was, quite simply, as far away from perfection as you can get. But, and here’s the thing, it didn’t kill me! Hoorah!
Admittedly, it’s not how I like to look, but it felt ok. I lived with it quite happily, which hopefully shows that my quest for perfection is loosening up.
* To stop and relax
Like many women, I’ve still got much to learn when it comes to relaxing properly. My idea of relaxation at the minute is having a good soak in the tub whilst reading a book on er… work stuff or blogging.
So whilst I’ve got it half right, I’ve still got a way to go before I can completely disengage from ‘doing’ and just switch off.
All in all, these may sound like baby steps but hey, at least I’m going in the right direction.
Whilst I’ve not yet learnt how to properly ‘be still’, I am most definitely learning how to be ‘still-ER’. And that, my dear friends, is progress.
Till the next time, do nothing! ;-)
Katie
x
P.S My post on ‘being still for a while’ really hit home with readers last week. The incredible (and quite frankly) inspirational Jo Gifford of Dexterous Diva fame, responded to my post with a brilliant one of her own – ‘Superwoman can do one’ and I’m delighted to say, that she too is now on a mission to be easier on herself.
The question now is, are you? Will you join the ‘be still, for while’ movement? x
Well done on your first steps towards relaxing!
I very rarely look perfect when I’m at home, never put makeup on. Who sees you apart from you?? You don’t need to look glam to wash up and I’m sure your as beautiful without washed hair and a face full of makeup and I’m doubly sure Elsie doesn’t care what you look like!
Xx
Thanks Franki. I’m not sure about looking beautiful, I think I looked pretty awful in all honesty but it felt ok. And guess what, today I’ve gone make up free again! Definitely progress! x
Hi Kate, I am so pleased you have learnt to relax, its so hard to fit everything in and to look after a baby. I had a lovely relaxing day looking after my granddaughter Elsie lots of playtime, cuddles, and most of all lots of giggling from us both, I just cant stop slopping that beautiful little face. So who cares if the ironings not done, the dishes are still in the sink etc etc its the quality time you spend with them that matters, the chores will get done eventually! Love a very happy Grandma X X X
Wise words Janine. Wise words! Thank you for looking after Elsie for me yesterday. She loved spending time with you. Much love xxx
This post totally resonates with me! Well done on learning to relax. I really need to take a leaf out of your book, I literally cannot sit still, yet always wonder why I’m so exhausted come Friday!
You are an inspiration, thank you x
Thank you lovely Sam! It’s important that us mummies try to rest and relax whenever we can, especially when we’re trying to juggle and fit in so many other things.
I’ve got a long way to go but I’m making progress. Glad it’s inspired you. Make sure you relax a little (or even better, a lot) this weekend :) X
I totally hear ya! Working freelance at home and trying to organise two children, two dogs and be that ‘I don’t know how she does it’ woman takes it’s toll. From the outside people see this woman in control, balanced life and a lady who has life sussed. On the inside? Emotions spiralling out of control, constant feelings of not being able to cope. Mood swings, tears, shouting at the children….. A woman possessed.
Work, home life, quality time, housework….. all became rolled into one.
At the beginning of this year I took the decision to rent an office to try and compartmentalise my life a little more. To try and help me actually switch off at home. Three months in and I can report that work gets done in the office…. End of! When I pick the children up I have time to talk to them about their day and have their friends round and cook tea rather than rushing straight back to the study to carry on working. I work so much more efficiently at the office that it has freed up my time so I can sit down in the evenings with my husband and ‘shock horror’ kick back and watch some television. I even now finally have my weekends back!!
Getting an office to work from away from the home has had exactly the effect I was looking for. It’s just a case of finding what works for you. Good luck and stay strong. Xx
Thank you so much Sally for sharing your experience!
I found it really interesting how you brought up, that the way we come across to other people, is often not our own reality! Just shows that even the most ‘together’ person is human. We all struggle with things, have good days and bad, but it’s easy to forget that when we’re in the midst of a dark time.
I’m absolutely thrilled to hear that you’ve managed to find something that works for you! Well done for figuring it out and best of luck with the endless juggle. I will keep you posted on my progress and know who to contact, if I need any more tips ;-)
X