Last night I tackled a fear (And survived)

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LAST night I did something I’ve never done before. As an adult.

I spoke. In public. To a group of people. About blogging.

I know. Impressive huh?! ;-)

I was nervous, I was frightened and I felt a little bit out of my depth. Last time I did any kind of real public speaking was way back at school, and I’m 35 now, so you know, it’s been a while.

When I agreed to do it a month or so ago, I knew it would be a challenge. And I knew it would be pushing myself way out of my comfort zone.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learnt in life and if there’s one thing I stand by, it is THIS.

Whenever you feel the fear, the only way to get rid of it, is to tackle it and face it head on.

I used to fear, fear but now, well now I try and see it as an indicator. Of something I need to look at, something I need to do. Less of a scary monster and more of an encouraging, persistent ‘friend’. (Of sorts anyway)

And so even though my stomach churned and even though that annoying little voice in my head kept asking me “why the hell are you doing this?” I went and I did it.

And I survived people! *high fives*

And…(wait for it, there’s more!)

I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT. Crazy huh?

I’m sure my little speech about blogging was far from perfect, but I gave it my best shot, I had a go and low and behold, although I would never have thought it, I even enjoyed myself.

As I sat there talking to people about my blog, trying to cover everything that I’ve learned so far, I actually felt incredibly happy. And I felt like I may even have helped a few people too, which is all you can ask for really.

I came home on a high, proud of myself for giving it a good shot and woke up this morning with a huge smile on my face.

Because I tackled something I was scared of and all in all, although it’s not really my place to say, I feel like I did a pretty good job.

Public speaking has been something that I’ve been terrified about for years. Hell, just the thought of it is enough to make my blood run cold.

But today, today I feel different.

Today I feel like I could do it again. Like, I’d actually like to do it again.

Today I feel a little giddy. Like this may have just possibly opened a whole new world.

Have I gone bonkers?

Maybe. But this is what happens when you grab fear by the scruff of the neck and look right into its eyes.

The nerves become excitement.

The challenges become opportunities.

The impossible becomes possible.

You change. You grow. And you end up feeling pretty amazing.

Fear always appears as our enemy but can become a really good mate, if we listen to what it has to say.

——–

So what else did I learn?

And just in case you want to know, just in case it will help someone out there who’s currently having cold sweats about the thought of doing something similar, here’s a few things I learned about public speaking from last night.

– Be prepared:  Think about what you’re going to say, practice, makes notes and take them with you.

– Look your best: Wear something comfortable but fabulous. Something that is ‘YOU’. When extreme confidence is required, I always find that red lips, heels, glamorous jewellery and a well styled barnet works for me.

– Breathe and smile!: When we’re nervous our voice tightens up and we tend to speak faster. So breattthhhheeeeeeeee. And don’t forget to smile too. It helps, honest.

– Engage with your audience: Lift your head up, look at people, smile (again) and ask questions. It makes it less frightening. 

– Know that nerves are part of the deal: You will be nervous. Your voice may shake and your cheeks may flush. That’s ok. Just ignore it all and carry on. Nerves happen to everyone. The key is not letting them chew you up.

– It’s ok if you screw up: S**t happens, no one is perfect and neither is any speech. Think of it as a learning experience and be kind to yourself. Just doing it takes guts.

– Have people on your side: If possible, rope in a few supporters, a few pals who will nod and smile in all the right places, when you need them too. Having a few people in the room, in your corner, helps massively.

– When it’s done, you’ll want to walk around like a champion (kinda!): You did it! You tried and hopefully conquered. Public speaking is no mean feat so you’ll feel pretty proud, no matter how it went. So let yourself walk around like you’re a champ! Because you are my friend. You battled the fear and just by having a go, you won.

———

Huge thank you to Crafty Business Barnsley for inviting me to speak last night and to all those who attended, asked questions and listened to me ramble on. It was an absolute pleasure and you were a very kind bunch. Thank you. X

With love,

Kate

Lips

 

 

 

Pic: Masque Photography

This post is linked to #TheList#SundayStars & #BrilliantBlogPosts

 

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32 Discussions on
“Last night I tackled a fear (And survived)”
  • Well done Kate, for tackling fear head on and winning!
    I completely agree with your point of view on this – whenever I feel ‘the fear’ over something, I just know that I have to go through with it, whatever it may be because I will feel as though I’ve let myself down if I don’t. And that excitement you feel afterwards much, much outweighs the sense of disappointment you would feel if you didn’t face your fear!
    xx

    • Perfect comment Jen and you’re SO right. The fear IS scary but that feeling of achievement when you’ve gone and done it, is something else! xxx

  • Well done, wonderful lady! I used to be terrified of public speaking, but I then realised that most people are, they are just good at hiding it! Like you say, preparation and feeling good are helpful – and having done it once you realise it isn’t so bad. And with practice…I think it also helps to talk about something you are passionate about. Give yourself a big pat on the back! xxx

    • Thank you Leigh! I will and I did! You’re absolutely right, nearly everyone is terrified of doing it, it’s just that those who do it a lot know how to deal with it and make the nerves work for them xxx

  • Congratulations and I’m sure the listeners got alot out of your talk. Completely agree that those things we are most frightened of sometimes turn out to be things we enjoy or are most proud of x

    • Thanks Laura. Some lovely people said that I’d inspired them so I’m pretty damn chuffed and happy with that! x

    • Thank you Charlotte! You definitely could I promise. It’s just getting over that awful hurdle! x

  • well done on conquering your fears . It sounds like it went really well and gave you a great boost , i bet you were amazing. Lot’s of great tips for people like myself who hate public speaking and have also never done it since school x #thelist

    • Ah thank you Lindsay! I hope so! So many people are terrified of it (myself included) but I loved it in the end. Hope the tips help. x

    • Thanks Gemma. It’s a tough thing to do public speaking, I know many people who avoid it as the prospect is so terrifying! Thanks for popping by and for your lovely words x

  • I was asked to talk somewhere and one thing and another I chickened out. However, I feel like I need to face my fears too, so thank you for sharing this my love. I NEED to try red lipstick! ;) Thanks for linking up to #TheList xx

  • I always think blogging is a kind of public speaking; saying your bit and putting it out there. Standing up in front of them is another matter. Well done you! I could feel your nerves and your pride through your words, very well written (and spoken) *applauds loudly and whistles from back of room*

  • Woo hoo! Good for you darling Katie – such an amazing achievement and so inspiring to read about. I used to do a bit of public speaking in my old career and I found picking two or three friendly-looking people in the audience to look at when I was speaking, rather than trying to sweep the whole room and freaking myself out in the process, was a great way to keep calm. Xx

  • Bravo my friend, bravo! Well done for facing a fear, it’s good for the soul to challenge what your mind thinks you can’t do!

    Personally I love public speaking, I did it an awful lot in my work, and for me the absolute key is to know your topic. When you know what you are talking about it truly gives you confidence, and I’m sure you were amazing! Xxx

  • Congratulations! So glad you found it such a positive experience. I would add one other ‘top tip’ to your list, and maybe you can experiment with it next time – remember that everyone in the audience is rooting for you. Every one of those people is wanting you to succeed.

    Plus your knowledge and story is unique so you are sharing some things they’ve never heard before.

    Sounds like you were amazing! Xx

  • Well done with tackling your fear…public speaking has to be right up there on my list of things I’d rather not do!
    I think it’s easier if you know your subject really well & can talk confidently. I always remember a university lecturer saying to me ‘prior preparation prevents p*ss poor performance’…it’s something I always try to adhere to in life!!
    I found you via #sundaystars

  • Congratulations on facing your fear Kate!! :) I never used to mind public speaking — in-fact I used to really love it! But when I was 12 weeks pregnant with the twins, I had to do a reading at a friend’s wedding and I was SO nervous I nearly gave myself a panic attack!! As a result, the thought of speaking in public again has lost it’s shine a bit. I need to get back on the horse, I think!! :) #SundayStars

    Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk

  • high fives indeed lady!! But of course you totally rocked it!! You’re a natural on they old Vlog and just quite frankly lovely in person, so I imagine, you were a star up there. I wish I could have been there!!!!

    Much love and when’s the next one so I CAN be there?! xxx

  • You absolutely rock Kate, this is so fantastic. I’m not sure I would have been able to do this but I bet you were brilliant! Well done darling xxx

  • I would love to hear you speak, I am a huge fan of everything you write. Definitely one of my nominations for BIBS! Congratulations on conquering your fear too #sundaystars

  • Wow well done you!! That’s an amazing achievement! I used to do public speaking a lot in my previous career but I knew lots of people who literally hated it and it would fill them with the worst fear. Glad you conquered it and here’s to next time!! :) Jess x

  • So proud of you darling, it’s such an amazing feeling to face your fears isn’t it. I love public speaking, always have really but I still get nervous and those butterflies, I do often in life but my way is to get a bit louder so I suppose, people always think I’m super confident when I’m not! As a director I spent a lot of time working with actors to draw performances and build confidence, not always so easy when it comes to yourself but you’re bang on, pushing yourself is rewarding, it makes you grow and in my life, I’ve found I’ve learnt so much more when things don’t always work out too, it’s OK to ‘fail’ so to speak. Big love and keep shining, would love to hear you speak one day xx

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