IT’S Valentine’s Day on Sunday.
(Pop it in your calendar now if you’ve forgotten folks!)
Which means that the topic of conversation on social media and the like, this week, is of course, going to be all about lurve.
Wonderful stuff, I’m sure you’ll agree.
However, as much as I like all the romance (the thoughtful stuff, not the naff) and the idea of celebrating love (it’s never a bad thing in my book), the truth is, the older I get, the less impressed I am by bunches of flowers and boxes of chocs.
Because what I’m after is connection. Intimacy. A deeper kind of love.
And this kind of love stuff? Well it doesn’t come cheap. Nor easy. (The good stuff never does, does it?) Nope, it requires effort, thought and commitment.
Which is why I’m thrilled to be working in collaboration with QualitySolicitors to support their campaign this month, which is all about helping people to get closer to their spouses.
To achieve that deeper connection that we’re all after. (Whether we admit it or not.)
Every day throughout February, the team are sharing a daily relationship tip (created by leading relationship experts) to give us all some couple inspiration. (Follow them on Twitter to get inspired or go and read all the tips here.)
But today, I’m going to share a couple of my favourite tips from their list that the husband and I have tried out over the past few weeks.
‘Be Honest About Your Emotions’
How many of us go through our daily lives, pretending we’re ok? Especially to our other halves? Or – even worse – pretending they haven’t upset us / made us mad etc when they have?
Yep, I’ve been there too, but if there’s one thing that I’ve learnt recently it is this; you’ve got to be honest about how you feel and what you are feeling.
And, you’ve got to be prepared to listen to your partner’s honesty too. You might not have meant to upset him and he may not meant to have upset you, but you’re both entitled to feel how you feel and trust that you partner will allow you to express it.
‘If You Want Something, Ask For It’
Ah. How I wish I’d learned this years ago. In the past I expected my husband to just ‘know’ what I needed and would then whinge when I didn’t get it!
But the truth is, if you need something from your other half, you need to ask for it. Like literally spell it out for them! So if I want more of a hand around the house now, I don’t go round huffing and puffing anymore, I tell him. And if I want more romance? I tell him that too!
In business, it’s a well known fact that if you don’t ask, you don’t get! And it appears it’s exactly the same in relationships.
‘Keep It Sexy’
An obvious one but so important. You know at the beginning of a relationship, when you both just can’t keep your hands off each other? When you make a huge effort to look great? When you splash the cash on expensive lingerie and nights away?
Well you need to keep doing all of this. Sure life gets in the way and other things have to take priority sometimes, but wherever possible, both of you need to do your best to ‘keep it sexy’.
And finally, one tip that isn’t on the list but is on mine…
‘Make each other laugh’
When you’ve been together a long time, you’ll have come across all kinds of challenges – some good, some bad.
Daily life takes over from romance, little niggles can become big problems and sometimes there doesn’t even seem enough time to find time for each other.
Which is why, when all else fails, you just need to keep working on making each other laugh.
My husband is one of the funniest men I’ve ever met and we’ve always laughed so much together. And I’m sure that this is one of the main reasons why through thick and thin, we’ve managed to stay together for so many years.
Sure he drives me crazy at times (likewise for him too I bet!) but he only has to make me snort with laughter (it happens!), to make me realise just how much I really do love him to bits.
See folks, a deeper kind of love, right there. *winks*
What top tips do you have for getting closer to your spouse?
Disclaimer – This post was created in collaboration with QualitySolicitors.