IT’S true. I’m honestly not kidding.

This weekend I had an epiphany. A light bulb moment. And it was all down to one feathery lampshade and a harmless weekend trip to B&Q.

To give you the background, my husband and I bought a house a year or so ago and it needs lots of work. It’s potential is staggering but there is much to do. We have made progress though. The kitchen and our dining / family room are now nearly complete. There was just one thing missing from the decor. Yep, we needed a lampshade.

After endlessly searching for months, we paid a trip to B&Q on Saturday and I was determined to find just the lampshade to complete our lovely room. But as I paced up and down the few aisles of lamps and shades, my heart began to sank. There were a few that ‘would do’, but nothing that was ‘the one’. And then I spotted it. A lampshade which was large enough for our room. A lampshade full of white feathers.

My husband hated it. He even laughed at the suggestion. And to be fair, I was uncertain about it too. Wouldn’t it look stupid? Wasn’t it all a bit too much?

And so I trundled back down the aisle to look at the other options again. There was a grey cylindrical one which was ok and a large yellow one that was bright and cheerful but not anything special. And that was IT.

So I sighed. And I sighed some more. This was getting to be hard work. A little voice in my head was telling me “be safe, go for the dull grey one, it’ll do!” , but my heart was saying something altogether different. I swear it was almost jumping with glee and saying “choose the feathers, go for the feather one, goddamit! You know you want too!”

And so after much umming and aahing, I picked it up. I explained to my husband – who was looking at me as if I’d lost the plot – that if it looked stupid we could always return it and so with it safely tucked under my arm, off we went to look at some wallpaper.

An hour or so later at home, it was time for the big reveal. I unwrapped the (already contentious) lampshade and set to work putting it up. I still wasn’t sure if it would work with the room, but now was a good a time as any to find out. So I stood on the dining room table and fixed it up.

And guess what? It looks brilliant. Perfect perhaps.

The feathers have injected a little more fun and personality into the room and it’s become a bit of a talking point already. The husband now loves it (I did on this occasion say I told you so!) and Elsie has affectionately named it ‘the cloud’. And every morning as she sits underneath it eating her breakfast, she looks up at it and smiles.

Some people will hate it. Others will love it. But hey, at least it will gain a reaction.

A lampshade made of feathers may sound a little bonkers yes and it’s certainly not for everyone but that’s the thing with choices isn’t it? They may not be to everyone’s liking, but when it comes to making our decisions, it’s what speaks or matters to us that counts.

The hesitation I had in buying the shade made me think this weekend though. About all the times in the past that I’ve chosen the safer option instead of listening to my gut instinct. And I’ve realised that when it comes to personal growth, in this area, I still have some work to do.

This realisation has surprised me because I am, by nature, pretty impulsive and hopefully, pretty fearless too when it comes to most things. But yet I’ve learnt over the past few days, that I’m still not as bold as I want or need to be.

I still worry about making the right decision. I’m still anxious about what other people think. And I still ignore my heart on odd occasions even though I know, that this is so not the best thing to do.

When did I get so scared of choosing?! Heck, I don’t know. But I do know this.

It’s time for me to get more daring. Because even though I’m pretty bold already, I don’t see that there’s any harm at all, in trying to be bolder still.

When it comes to being daring and thinking f**k it!, it’s time for me to show a little more courage. The irony isn’t lost on me either, that when it comes to learning about choice, that it is a lampshade (of all things!) that has shown me the light.

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With love (and pouts)

Katie

x

Pssssst! For those that are interested, you can buy the white feather lampshade here! ;-)