FRIDAY FIVE: What I’ve learnt about marriage (so far)…
TODAY the husband and I are celebrating five years of marriage and boy has it gone quickly!
It doesn’t seem two minutes since our wedding day and yet over the past five years our lives have changed so much.
We’ve entered our thirties, made bold career moves, visited new places, moved into a new home and of course welcomed our daughter into the world.
It really has been a blast.
I don’t know where I’d be without my partner in crime but I do know this. Life without him wouldn’t be half as sweet.
As we celebrate our first real marriage milestone, I thought I’d share some of my musings on marriage and what I feel I’ve learnt so far. Here’s today’s Friday Five.
1) Marriage isn’t about the big day
An obvious one you would think but you’d be surprised at how many people get caught up in preparing for the big day, without really thinking about what the whole marriage thing entails.
Regardless of how you chose to celebrate your big day, never lose sight of what it is you’re about to do. Marriage isn’t about the frock, the flowers, the meal or the party afterwards. It’s a commitment and a public declaration of your love and loyalty to each other.
If together you’re not quite right. no big day, no matter how special, will make up for that. A wedding day is just that, a day.
Whilst a marriage, if you’re very lucky, is for forever. (Or a very long time at least.)
2) Being married does make you feel different
It’s true. I don’t know why but it does.
We’d been together for many years before we got married so we were already incredibly close but we both felt different after we got hitched.
How? It’s hard to say exactly but we both felt more ‘together’, more of a team, more committed.
We didn’t expect there to be any shift at all in how we felt but there really is just something about being a Mr and Mrs that feels rather very special.
3) It’s not always easy
Marriage isn’t always a bed of roses that’s for sure. But then when you think of it, what relationship ever is?!
Sometimes life can get a bit bumpy at times whilst at other points it’s all plain smiling. The ups, the downs, the smiles, the frowns. It’s all part and parcel of being married and the rich tapestry of love and life.
Anything worth having is never easy and so marriage can require a bit of extra TLC at times. But those little bumps in the road, often unexpected, are only sent to try us and make us stronger.
4) But it is special
Let me just say that contrary to what society wants us to believe, not all young girls or women fantasise about getting married. How do I know? Because I was one of those girls who never did.
As a teenager and young woman, I was adamant that I would never get married. Getting wed just wasn’t on my to do list.
But then one day I changed my mind, woman’s perogative and all that. I met an amazing man who asked me to be his wife (in Paris and yes it was ridiculously romantic) and that was that. I said yes and have never regretted it.
Being married feels special, it is special and regardless of what some people say or believe, it isn’t just a piece of paper.
5) It isn’t boring and you don’t have to lose your independence
By nature, I’m a very independent soul. A free spirit who hates to feel confined or restricted in any shape or form.
I’m also someone who craves excitement and adventure. Routine and bland-dom (yep, I made this up) is just not for me.
So you may be wondering why the hell I got married. After all, that’s what it’s all about isn’t it? Boredom and routine?
Well no, no it’s not actually.
Marriage does NOT mean an end to fun, to living, to freedom or to independence, regardless of what some people believe. And if you think it does, then you’re thinking of and looking at the wrong kind of marriages.
It’s not a ball and chain.
Marriage – as with life – is all about what you make it. And I for one, am glad we chose to make it together.
Till the next time, don’t ever take love for granted. It’s far too precious for that.
P.S Finally, to Franki – a lovely lady and regular visitor to my blog – I would just like to take a moment to wish you all the very best tomorrow for your big day! I hope it’s as special as you’d imagined and wish you and Anthony a lifetime of happiness together . Enjoy every second! :) X