FRIDAY FIVE: Five reasons you should trust your instincts
LATELY I’ve been thinking a lot about intuition.
About why it’s important. About what it all means. About why it matters.
By nature, I am an inquisitive soul. I’m also very prone to going with my instincts. Yes, I’ve got some good ol’ grey matter and I like to use it, but personally I find that when it comes to survival and tackling some of life’s biggest challenges, the best judge of what I need to do in that moment, or in a given situation, comes not from my head, but from my gut.
Not everyone agrees with this. Use your head they’ll exclaim! But ignore them and listen to me instead. Here are five reasons why you should listen to your inner voice. Because after all, life isn’t black and white but multicoloured.
It will help to protect you
As women, we are generally brought up to be ‘nice’ and taught not to offend people by being impolite, unkind or just plain rude. But whilst it is true that it is ‘nice to be nice’ it really isn’t always in our best interest. Especially when it comes to our personal safety. And especially when it comes to certain men.
There have been two occasions in my life when my ‘gut instinct’ has saved me from possible danger. And I don’t say that lightly. Both times, my intuition kicked in so strong, I’ve no doubt that it did so to protect me.
The first occasion was when I was 17 years old and a man decided to ruin my morning by stalking me on the way to college. He followed me for nearly 30 minutes, all the time making sexual threats. Thankfully, he seemed to get his kicks from that alone but let me tell you, that situation could have turned out very differently if I’d not listened to my intuition.
I knew within seconds of coming into contact with this man, that I was in danger. I just felt it. When he stopped me to ask for the time (with a working clock right above his head, yep besides being a menace, the guy was also an idiot) I knew immediately that he was waiting and looking for a woman to target. And I instinctively knew, that this morning he had chosen me.
As he followed me down a deserted subway, into a park and along a main road, I can honestly say I don’t think I’ve ever felt so terrified in my life. But I also knew that if I ran or if he sensed my terror, it would put me at a massive disadvantage and so I kept calm. After half an hour, my instinct told me that I needed to confront him.
I was approaching another deserted park and for some reason I just knew I couldn’t let him follow me any longer. And so I spun on my heels, told him loudly to f**k off (or something similar) and to my surprise and happiness, he did. What could have happened if I hadn’t done that, doesn’t bear thinking about.
The second time was to do with a neighbour of an ex boyfriend. This man was always pleasant and friendly, yet he made my skin crawl. I couldn’t stand being anywhere near him.
Often when I was alone in my boyfriend’s house, he would appear at the door and suggest that he came in for a cup of tea or to wait for my boyfriend. And let me tell you, there was no way I was ever going to let that happen. He frightened the hell out of me.
A few months later, this man disappeared and we then later found out that he had sexually attacked a woman in her own home. Did my instinct save me from a similar fate? I’ll never know. But my message to you is this, when it comes to your personal safety and being in the company of men, don’t ever ignore your instinct. If someone frightens you (irregardless of how inexplicable it may be) take notice.
It will guide you to making the right decision/s
When it comes to making big decisions, many people will tell you to listen to your head. Be sensible. Think practical. Be safe, they will say. But ignore them.
When it comes to life changing decisions, the only thing you need to do is listen to that inner voice that is whispering to you. You can try and silence it all you like and fight it with rights and wrongs, pros and cons, but trust me, you won’t win. In fact, I find, the more I try and silence it, the louder it becomes.
Don’t let that quiet inner voice get to a screaming level. Pay attention and listen to it.
You might wish it would disappear but I’ve got news for you, it won’t. You don’t even need to obey it or do what it says -often, it will tell us the most uncomfortable truths and tell us to do the most frightening things – but don’t deny it. At the very least, don’t lie to yourself.
A few years ago I was very unhappy with my work situation. On the surface I had a good job with great prospects. I was working with a brilliant team, many of whom were friends, and getting paid a decent salary. But I was miserable.
A little voice in my head told me I needed to leave, to go alone and work for myself. But I ignored it. The thought of going freelance seemed like a crazy notion.
And then I read a book which changed everything and I leapt. I did what many people thought I was nuts to do. And guess what? I’ve never looked back.
It will help you find ‘the one’
Ahhh love, passion, lust. Nothing more confusing. Nothing more complex than the matters of the heart and the groin. It should all be so simple really shouldn’t it, but wouldn’t that be boring?
I’ve lost count of the hours I’ve spent talking to my girlfriends about relationships, failing ones, potential ones, safe ones, dangerous ones. When it comes to love, one lady’s junk is another’s ‘Jimmy Choos’. And that’s what makes it all so mysterious.
Dating experts will talk about compatability, similar life choices and timing but personally I can’t think of anything less than romantic. Great love sweeps you off your feet, make you breathless and giddy with excitement.
You can’t control it, it just happens. And you either feel it or you don’t. Trust me when I say that your heart knows who it wants.
It will help you suss people out
When you meet someone for the first time, or perhaps the 100th time, don’t you find that you just know whether you want to be in their company or not?
Call it intuition or a sixth sense, but I know pretty much straight away if I am enjoying being in someone’s presence. Years ago, younger and less wise, I would ignore the little voices that told me to stay away from someone and would try desperately to warm to them and give them the benefit of the doubt. Time and time again I did this. And in most instances, it would turn out, that I should have listened to what my body was telling me and kept my distance.
Our bodies are tuned in to picking up on vibes and energy from other people. And it’s all down to helping us to survive.
This is why when you spend time with a negative person, you often leave them in a foul mood, even if you arrived happy. And why, when you do meet someone whom you connect with, you feel amazing.
So whilst it’s good to reserve judgement and give people a fair chance, it also pays to listen to your inner voice. Now when it comes to others, I listen to my head but I ALSO trust my judgment. If I’m in someone’s company and I feel completely at ease with them, I know I’ve made a good connection. And if not, I politely stay away.
It is a reminder of who you are
Sometimes it’s easy to forget who we are. We can get swallowed up by life or heavily influenced by others and before we know it, we’ve lost part of ourselves and forgotten what makes us tick.
But, I do believe, as ridiculously cheesy as this may sound, that if we listen to our soul, we can be reminded of who we are. Don’t know what makes you happy in life? Unsure what to do for a living? Then just be still for a while. See how you react to things and listen to your heart.
As children, we are so tuned in to what we like, what we hate and how we enjoy spending our time. It’s easy and effortless. Watching Elsie as a toddler is incredible because if she doesn’t like something, you know about it and if she loves something, her joy is clear for all to see. There’s no doubt about it, she’s a 22 month old girl who knows who she is and what she wants. And the thing is, we were ALL like that!
But somewhere down the path of life and through the process of growing up, we tend to turn down the volume on our inner voice – perhaps because we’re told to, perhaps because we feel we have to – and then everything gets a little muddled up. We lose sight of who we are. And if we’re not careful, we become someone else. Someone less authentic. Someone not as happy.
And the only way to fight this is to reconnect with your inner being. To reclaim who you are, you need to quieten down the external noise, listen to your body and more crucially, pay attention. Because believe me, you DO know who you are. You just need reminding.
Wow! That was a mammoth post wasn’t it? Anyway…if you’re still reading, well done you! ;-) And tell me, when it comes to intuition, what do you think? Are you more inclined to use your heart or your head?! I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
Have an incredible weekend everyone!
With love and pouts,
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