FRIDAY FIVE: Easy ways to step up and start ‘owning’ your life
SO, after a little break I’m back with my blogging mojo well and truly restored!
I love blogging so I’ve got to tell you it was a bit difficult not to feel guilty about my time away from you all but I have to say, it’s done me the world of good.
Stepping away from the blog has given me back some precious time which has allowed me to chill out a bit more. It’s also given me some much needed time to think.
One of the things that I’ve been pondering over the last few weeks, is the thought of ‘ownership’ and how I can take more control of my life. Not in a freaky obsessed way I promise, but in a way which is healthy and productive.
So if like me, you feel that life is just sweeping you along for the ride at the minute, here are a few easy ways to take back some (healthy) control of your world. Listen up.
Stop the umming and aahhing
Have you ever noticed that when life feels like a runaway train, it feels harder to make a decision?
Often when there is so much going on around us, our minds can become tired and our thoughts a little fuzzy. Deciding anything can start to become problematic and even make us feel stressed, fearful and anxious.
So my advice for when you are stuck in the fogginess, is this; make a decision and do it as simply and as quickly as you can.
Stop the deliberation, stop the procrastinating and just decide. Continually going back and forth over your options doesn’t always help and on many an occasion, will make you feel even more muddled. It wastes time, saps energy and strips confidence.
So be bold, stop worrying (the world won’t come to an end if you make the wrong choice) and just decide. Not only will you feel clearer of mind, you’ll soon become much more aware of your own personal desires, tastes and needs.
Stop excusing, stop blaming and stop playing the victim.
If you want to be taken seriously, treated with respect and feel more confident then you must begin to take responsibility for your life, your behaviour and your decisions.
It’s easy to point the finger at others when we are unhappy and play the blame game, but do you really want to be perceived a as martyr or feel like one of life’s victims?
Regardless of whatever happens to us in life, even if it’s not of our own making, we can always choose how we feel, how we respond and how we behave. Don’t let other people or circumstances that are beyond your control determine your happiness or create your world.
Human beings judge others. That’s just the way it is. Whatever you do throughout your life, there will always be someone who doesn’t agree with your choices, thinks that they know better or even worse, wants you to do something their way.
It’s very easy to be swept along by someone, to be controlled, to be swayed by someone else’s opinion or to be made to feel insecure about your own choices. So the very best thing you can do to protect yourself is to develop your own invisible but ultra protective suit of armour. Otherwise known as a ‘thick skin’.
Of course there will be times when you choose to listen to someone or need some advice from another but for those times when you feel bullied, harassed, manipulated or bulldozed, make sure your special suit of armour is polished and up for the battle.
Just say no
Time and time again, I hear far too many people complaining about something they don’t want to do, but ‘feel’ they have to.
But if somebody asks you to do something which you don’t want to do, remember this – you don’t have to do it. You have choices. And a voice. All you need to do is use them.
For some reason, many of us find ‘no’ – one of the smallest, simplest words in the English Dictionary – the hardest word to say. Perhaps we might be scared of what people will think about us if we refuse to help or worried that we won’t be liked as much, but think about this?
Would you ever want someone only to say yes to you, because they feel that they should or because they’re afraid not to?
Saying no isn’t easy but from personal experience, I gotta tell you that once you start to say no to people, it does get a hell of a lot easier. So next time someone asks you for or to do something, take a second to think about how you feel.
If what they’re asking doesn’t make you feel good and you don’t want to do it…
Just. Say. No.
I promise you, it won’t be nowhere near as bad as you imagine.
Listen to your gut
Throughout my life, there have been many occasions when I have listened to my ‘gut’ and far too many other times that I haven’t.
And I tell you this. For every single time I have ignored my gut instinct, I have regretted it and paid a price. Sometimes just a little. Other times, a hell of a lot.
Your gut instinct, your inner voice, your hunch – whatever you want to call it – is there for a reason.
It is there to protect you, to make you consider something more thoughtfully or to help you notice something important which you may have missed otherwise.
So whatever you do, please, for the love of God, don’t ignore it.
Because, if someone makes your ‘skin crawl’, there’s probably a reason why. If a situation makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, there’s probably a reason why. And if the thought of something, makes you feel inexplicably anxious or worried, there’s probably a reason why.
Always, always, ALWAYS listen to your gut and take it seriously.
Because when something feels right, or wrong, it more often than not usually is.
How do you take control of you life? What’s the best advice you’ve heard about taking personal responsibility? As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Till the next time: it’s your life, so own it and own it good!