AS a knackered parent getting down and dirty between the sheets is often the very last thing on my mind these days.

Most parents will know that life is full on, there’s often very little time for a decent conversation, let alone anything else let’s face it!

Then add into the mix;  work, life, house stuff, errands, as well as trying to squeeze in seeing friends and family, and it’s no wonder that our love lives, rather than being smoking hot, become well, a little luke warm.

But yet it’s so important isn’t it?

Sex may not be everything but it’s pretty damn vital to maintaining a happy and healthy relationship. And of course if you’re wanting to extend your family further and think about having another child, well it’s pretty pivotal stuff! ;-)

If your love life has gone on the back burner of late or if things have got a little stale, fret not. Here are five things you can do to spice things up a little. (Or things that have worked for me)

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1. Make sex a priority

I get it, life is busy and everything else has to come first (no pun intended), but if things have got a bit bumpy relationship wise, it’s time to nudge your love life up your to do list and make sex a priority.

Think back to the days when you first met and you couldn’t get enough of each other. Remember them?

It’s so easy to get dragged into a routine especially when you’re a mum – you’re looking after the kids, working, cooking, cleaning etc but sometimes you just have to leave the pots alone and put your sexual needs first!

If you really do struggle to find the time, then schedule some sexy time into your diary! Seriously. Block out sections of time in your diary and make sure nothing else is allowed to interfere with it.

2. Get away for an evening

Routine is the killer of passion. I firmly believe this. It’s difficult to feel sexy and passionate when you’re surrounded by mountains of washing and piles of kids toys.

So from time to time, if you can, get away for an evening.

Yes it’s tough leaving your child / children for a night – especially if they’re little – but it won’t kill them, not once in a while. Treat yourselves to a night in a swanky hotel and let unfamiliar surroundings (and a little luxury and room service) spice up your life. (Thanks Spice Girls!)

3. See yourself as sexy

Ok before you snort with laughter or roll your eyes, listen up. To be sexy, to act sexier and to want more sex, you have to feel sexy. It all starts with you.

When I feel attractive, when I’ve had some time to myself, when I’ve managed to shave my legs, I feel happier and sexier in general.

Yes, my husband in all fairness would still no doubt ravish me even if I look a bit bedraggled or not at my best, but it’s not about him, it’s about me.

The more you try and see yourself as a sex goddess, the more you will feel like one and this my friends, can only be a good thing for you AND your partner.

How do you start seeing yourself as one? Easy!

Start appreciating your own beauty. Find some time for yourself. Pamper yourself. Treat yourself to expensive lingerie. Take care with your appearance. Lighten up a bit. Think naughty thoughts.

I guarantee if you’re never in the mood for nookie (damn, I love this word!) it’s probably because you’re too tired (we all understand this) and feeling unhappy about yourself. And whilst seeing yourself in a sexier light won’t unfortunately help the tiredness, it definitely will make you feel better and a lot more frisky I promise.

4. Experiment and have some fun

Mix things up a bit, have some fun, try something different. As my Gran once said: “there’s never any excuse to be bored”  and this applies to your sex life too!

Live a little and do something you would never normally do. Try out each other’s fantasies. Send naughty texts. Watch a sexy film. Go on a saucy date night. Spice things up with a vibrator.

And if all else fails, get yourself a subscription for the new erotic service Daring Box which has just launched. Every two months you’ll receive a different themed box filled with naughty goodies to help make you both a little more adventurous. (Last week I received the UK’s first box and well, let’s just say, both the husband and I are already huge fans). Ooh la la!

5. Be more intimate

And by this I mean, in general. Talk more, be open with your partner, hold hands, cuddle up on the sofa together and put your mobile phones away. (Or even better switch them off.)

Act more loving towards each other and laugh more! A happy sex life stems from a happy intimate relationship. So find time for each other, be more affectionate, inject a little romance and be naughty from time to time. All of these will do absolute wonders and leave you wanting much much more.

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Ladies, what do you think? How do you make time for ‘sexy time’? Has your love life gone off the boil or are you still simmering away nicely? Would love to hear you thoughts on this one! ;-)

With love,

Kate

Pic credit – taken by Masque Photography