FIVE QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF ABOUT ANYONE
A FEW weeks ago I wrote a post about walking away from people.
From those who make you miserable, treat you shoddily or fill your world with negativity.
The post received quite the response (thanks everyone!) and is still attracting comments, even as I type.
So today, I thought I’d carry on the ‘walking away’ theme and give us all some food for thought on this sunny Friday. Myself totally included.
Because often it’s hard to figure out who a person is or to know if we we should keep someone in our lives.
People make genuine mistakes. People get things wrong. People do silly things when they’re hurting.
But if like me, sometimes you find yourself wondering about a particular person, racking your brains over this and that, trying to decipher what the hell is going on with them and their behaviour towards you… then here are five thought-provoking questions to ask yourself.
Do you feel good around them?
Do you pick up good vibes? Do they make you laugh? Do you find yourself smiling a lot when you’re with them? And the biggie out of the bunch, do you feel comfortable?
Or, do you not? Do they make you feel tense, on edge, stressed or awkward?
Never ignore the feelings you get when you are with someone. Never ignore your instinct.
If someone gets your heckles up or you feel out of sorts when you’re with someone, pay attention. It may just tell you everything you need to know.
Do you give more than you receive?
Any relationship, any good, respectful relationship should have balance. It’s a two way street after all.
Sure there will be times when one of you needs to ‘give’ more than the other, in times of need for example but on the whole it should be equal.
So think about it.
Is it always you making the effort? Do they always hog the conversation? Are you always the one arranging get togethers? Does someone only ever contact you if they need something?
No problem. Grab your phone and do this for me. Look at your communication. Read your text messages and check your emails. Look at your phone call log.
If your texts are more frequent, if it’s always you initiating contact, if they never call you, then the balance is totally out of whack.
Do you look forward to seeing or hearing from them?
Years ago I used to find myself dreading phone calls from a particular person. And my heart would sink when I saw their name pop up on my phone.
It took me a while to figure out why, but essentially, I didn’t enjoy their company nor did they make me feel good.
If you ever find yourself dreading meeting up with someone or ignoring a person’s calls, then something is very, very wrong.
Do they have integrity?
Can you trust them? Do they have your best interests at heart? Are they a good person?
Do they call when they say they will? Are they real and authentic? Do they do what they say they’re going to do? Do you know what their values are and do they live by them?
And the killer one (which always works for me!) – do their actions match their words?
If you found yourself answering no to some of these questions, then you might want to rethink their role in your life.
Do they support and love you?
People make errors of judgment. People fail. People get caught up in their lives.
But yet somehow with everyone important in your life, you should be able to answer this easily, with no doubt and a big fat, confident hell yeah of a YES.
Can’t answer it?
Well here are some more things to think about:
Do they support you when you need them? Are they there for you in the bad times? Do they celebrate the good times with you?
Do they listen? Do they care about your feelings? Can you be yourself with them, safe in the knowledge that even on your worst days, they’ll still love the very bones of you?
Our lives should only be filled with people who truly love us – family, friends, partners. Nothing less will do.
So if someone is treating you less than you deserve or if you’re in any doubt about how they feel about you at all, then here’s what you need to do….
Protect yourself, respect your worth and grab your bags and just. keep. walking. (With your chin up and your head high.)
This post is linked to #TheList