THIS is one happy post I didn’t think I would ever get to write.
Which just shows you how life is full of surprises.
When Elsie came into the world over four years ago, she changed my life beyond measure and I’ve always said to anyone who has ever asked, that if Elsie was to be our only child, I would be more than happy with that.
How could I not be?
She made me a mother and I’ve always felt so grateful that I was given this wonderful gift when so many other people are sadly not so lucky.
But still I always hoped that one day I’d have another child and couldn’t imagine being a family of three forever. So even though it took us a really long time to conceive Elsie, we decided to try again and give it a go.
Oh how we tried and hoped, for ages.
But then weeks followed weeks and months rattled by and nothing happened. We watched Elsie grow older and began to doubt we’d ever be so fortunate again.
Occasionally I’d think I could be pregnant and would be practically jumping for joy, only for my period to show up just a couple days later and kill the dream.
It’s tough trying for a baby – as so many of you will know – and I’m not ashamed to say it made me a little miserable at times and frustrated.
Eventually, both my husband and I were forced to face the fact that maybe this time the magic wouldn’t happen. That we would indeed remain a family of three.
We accepted it, decided to count our blessings and brought a puppy into the family instead.
But then, just when we’d given up, what do you know but we were proven wrong.
Because on Elsie’s fourth birthday, just 10 days ago, my husband and I went to our local hospital to see our second baby, on screen, for the very first time. And yes, it was emotional.
I sobbed when I saw the baby move, a heady mix of being overwhelmed, relieved, deliriously happy and so, so grateful.
Finally we could share our happiness with everyone, but especially our girl, our beautiful girl Elsie who has been desperate to be a big sister for such a long time. Who didn’t understand why her mummy has been sick, exhausted and rather snappy on occasion, for the past few months.
And so on her birthday, a day none of us will ever forget, we got to show her the tiny scan picture of her future brother or sister and tell her the big news.
“You’re going to be a big sister Elsie. Mummy has a baby in her tummy!”
“Thank you Mummy!” were the very first words she said.
More magic. More tears. More happiness.
Today I am 14 weeks pregnant.
My bump is showing. I’m in maternity jeans already and I still feel pretty grotty. But I couldn’t be happier or more excited right now and truly feel like the luckiest woman alive.
As Elsie said the other day: “we’re having a baby!”
Yes we are my darling and sickness and grottiness aside, I just cannot. stop. smiling.