Pouting In Heels

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Domestic violence is NO joke…

EARLIER this week I read something which made me feel completely and utterly sad.

And it was this…

On Twitter I came across a link to an article which featured a number of tweets from women saying how they’d happily take a beating from R&B performer Chris Brown, if only they were so ‘lucky’ to ‘have’ him.

It saddened me on many levels but mainly because a) these women have demeaned the seriousness of domestic violence, b) it makes fun of victims everywhere and c) it implies that women will put up with anything if it means getting or keeping the man they want.

If you can bear to read them, here they are in all their glory. Brace yourself though, they don’t make for an easy read.

If you don’t know already, (although I’m sure most of you do) Chris Brown pleaded guilty in 2009 to the savage beating of his ( by then) ex-girlfriend, the pop songstress Rihanna.

Last Sunday he made his ‘comeback’ Grammy performance, just three years after the now infamous attack. Whilst many people – myself included -were disgusted by his attendance and apparent public acceptance by the music industry, there were unfortunately many others, like these women, who welcomed him back with warm, forgiving, open arms.

With so many women across the world continuing to suffer violence at the hands of men, indeed, the very hands of men who often propose to ‘love’ them, reading such tweets from idiotic young women was yet another stark reminder why there is still such a long way to go in changing people’s perceptions of domestic violence, not to mention attempting to stamp it altogether.

Here are some cold, hard, dreadful facts:

In the UK,

* 2 women die at the hands of a violent partner or ex EVERY week.

* EVERY minute a domestic violence call is made to the police.

* 1 out of 4 women WILL experience domestic violence in their lifetime.

It is quite simply- NO joke.

No woman should have to experience domestic violence and no woman or man should ever think that this is somehow acceptable.

For these women to think that Chris Brown’s behaviour is at all acceptable in any way and worse still, for them to make light of it, is both worrying and terrifying.

Domestic violence must be stopped.

Help stop domestic violence

Here are a few easy ways you can help to stamp it out. Please do get involved if you can.

1) Red Magazine are currently running their ‘Speak Up. Save A Life’ campaign to help prevent domestic violence and save lives. Please sign their petition. It’ll take you less than two minutes.

2) Support the UK’s two largest domestic violence charities Refuge and Women’s Aid. Follow them on social media, help raise money or simply keep up to date with their latest campaigns.

3) Keep an eye out on your nearest and dearest. None of us know what goes on behind closed doors, so if you suspect a friend or relative may be suffering, here’s how to help spot the signs.

Thanks all. Till the next time,




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16 Discussions on
“Domestic violence is NO joke…”
  • Sickening attitude from these women to Chris Brown. There can be no excuse. Domestic violence is horrific and terrible and must be taken more seriously by society. Great post, thanks x

    • Thanks Catherine.

      It’s incredible in this day and change that some people still find it acceptable.

      Here’s to doing our best to stamp it out! :-) x

  • It is sad ‘cos they just do not understand what it is all about. Nor do they understand how it feels to be beaten. Our volunteers do as some of them have been through DV and all have been trained.
    When supporting, spare a thought for community led charities like ours. It is only by making sure that people understand that DV affects all of us that we will begin to make a difference.

    • Thank you so much for your comment Judy!

      You make some excellent points.

      Community led projects should of course be supported too.

      In the future I’ll make sure that I do just that and give you
      a mention.

      Keep up your fantastic work

      Katie x

  • Excellent post Kate, I also think we shouldn’t forget the men who can be victims of Dv either emotional or physical. Social attitudes need to change and it needs to be known there is no shame in admitting abuse.

  • Attitudes do need to change but that will only happen with real understanding. Also I agree with Katie P – we must not forget the men who go through it but we need more resources to help all people who are affected by DV and at the moment those resources are decreasing. Especially as some funders and commissioners don’t seem to really understand the problem.

  • I can’t believe some of the things that people have said! It is sickening.
    I have been in two relationships where I’ve experienced DV, and it’s no joke. In fact, it is utterly terrifying that people have such blasé attitudes to something that destroys lives.
    Each time, I thought something like that would never happen to me. I thought I was stronger than that, that I would end things if they got out of control. But I didn’t. That’s how easy it is…
    People need to take it seriously. It really could happen to anyone, that’s how scary and commonplace it is.
    It’s something to take seriously, not for people to joke about. X

    • Sam, thank you for being so honest.

      I too have experienced DV in the past and like you say,
      you always think it will never happen to me.. but it can.
      It can happen to ANYONE.

      Let’s hope that more people begin to realise how serious it is. x

  • Samantha, I so agree with you but what is also sickening that community organisations such as mine (The Jan Foundation) who are really trying to educate people in the community about the realities of DV are seriously underfunded.

    • The lack of funding seems to be a major concern Judy.

      Can you share why you think there is such a problem finding
      money for organisations such as yours? x

  • Hi Katie,

    Sorry about delayed reply. I think that people giving out funding do not fully understand the type of work we do ( see http://www.janfoundation.co.uk). We are now starting a social enterprise that could become quite big if we do it right and hopefully that will generate funding that will pay for more than just us. We will keep you all posted and ask for your support with it when we are nearer ready to launching it.

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