IT’S a tough gig is motherhood.
There are moments of beauty. There are moments of joy. There are days when everything goes to plan and you feel like you’re living those perfect parenting moments that you see in glossy magazines and portrayed on celebrity Instagram accounts.
And then. Then there are the days when you feel like you can’t take another minute.
Then there are those awful days that we don’t like to talk or think about it, when it feels bleak, lonely and like ridiculously hard work.
You look around you and see only chaos.
There are toys all over the place. You can’t keep up with the ironing. Your painted walls are covered in dirty hand prints. The mess is everywhere.
You think about your life and stress about the chaos. Your child ‘should be’ sleeping through the night but they’re not. Your to do list is unmanageable and gets bigger every day. You can’t remember the last time you had a few hours to yourself just to do nothing. You look in the mirror and see exhaustion and stress etched all over your face.
But still when morning comes, you get up. You get your child fed. You get them dressed. You put their coat on the radiator so it’s warm for them when they’re getting ready to leave the house.
You tidy up the toys as best you can even though you know minutes later your house will be trashed. Again.
You carry on. Powering through the day, through the sleep deprivation, through the never ending to do list and on you go. Day after day after day.
If you’re lucky you have more amazing days than bad. If you’re going through a tough patch, those bad days can sometimes last for weeks.
But on you go, full steam ahead. Loving and caring and sharing. Tidying and cooking and cleaning. Cuddling and reprimanding and pleading.
Loving 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. There is no break from motherhood.
Most days it feels the best job in the world, some days like the most impossible.
You worry about everything and you doubt your own abilities. You feel like a failure when they won’t eat their vegetables or refuse to use their potty.
Motherhood, even on it’s very best day, is always overwhelming.
But still you wouldn’t change it for the world. It shapes you, it alters you, it challenges you and sometimes even breaks you, but it’s everything, especially on a good day.
On one of those good days when your toddler does nothing but smile, sing and laugh all day. On one of those good days when motherhood seems easy, like a walk in the park. On one of those good days when you manage to drink half a cup of tea as they watch Toy Story 3 for the 50th time.
On one of those good days, when your daughter tells you, that you are “the best mummy in the whole wide world“, for the first time and you dare to believe it.
Just ten words. And one little sentence.
But it is the greatest line you’ve ever heard and it makes you beam with joy and your eyes glisten with tears.
In the middle of the night, when you’re woken yet again, remember that line.
In the middle of the chaos, when you’re standing on lego pieces and cursing under your breath, remember that line.
In the middle of a dark day, when you want to scream with frustration, remember that line.
Because becoming the ‘best mummy in the whole wide world’ isn’t always easy. But it is – at the end of our days – the only thing that will have ever truly mattered.