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A letter to phone calls: Why I hate speaking on the phone

why I hate phone calls


Dear phone calls,

I’ve struggled with you over the years. And I’ve done my best to fall in love with you, like you even.

But it’s time to admit that well, in all honesty, I just don’t like you very much. In fact – please don’t be hurt by this – but I actually like you very little.

I don’t know why. To be fair, it’s not like I can’t waffle on. Pretty much everyone who knows me, knows that I can talk for England. But try as I might, me and you just aren’t going to be best pals. I just don’t enjoy you, you see. I’d rather be hanging out with your text friend or popping over to see one of your social media buddies.

You’re just…how can I put this? Well, you’re just a bit annoying.

Yes, there have been rare times when an odd phone call has made me happy. I’ll give you that. But on the whole, I just find you a massive inconvenience. And a bit bloody frightening too.

Pathetic this may be, but you actually do scare me a little. I don’t like it when my phone rings with one of you trying to get through. I don’t like it when I’m forced out of my happy bubble by my ringtone.

When I’m interrupted or harassed. I need my space you see. Some peace and quiet. Plus I’m fiercely independent and like to do things on my own terms.

And don’t get me started on those of you that come through from numbers that I don’t recognise or are restricted.  Just the thought of you is enough to make me shudder.

Over the years I’ve forced myself to get along with you. To accept who you are. Needs must an’ all. I would never have made it as a journalist for starters if I couldn’t pick up the phone and use one of you or have had a love life, so you’re not all bad granted.

There are – amazingly – people out there who actually LOVE you. Indeed, people I know who will rush to drop everything to answer you but I’m afraid I’m just not one of them. Nor will ever be. I prefer to speak to people when I’m good and ready, and in my own time.

Sometimes I ignore you. Sometimes I put you off. Sometimes I pretend you don’t exist. Very rarely when it comes to work but pretty often when it comes to social stuff, this is what I do.

Why? Well, I guess because mainly I like words where I can see them. In black and white. In text. Not invisible words hanging in the air hoping, waiting to be heard.

Writing words or seeing them written down just works better for me. You see, when it comes to text, I can think, edit, console, flirt, support or argue brilliantly. But over the phone? Well I’m not just that good at it.

And over everything, I’m a bit of an old fashioned gal in that I still prefer to communicate in person and actually talk to someone face to face.

It’s very special you know.

Seeing someone’s facial expressions, reading their body language, looking into their eyes. There’s nothing like it. You’d be amazed at how you can read people and their emotions so much better, than you can through a phone.

For instance, a silent pause in person I can interpret but a silent pause through one of you? Well now that can be tricky. Very tricky indeed. “Have they been cut off? Have I p****d them off? Have they gone under a tunnel? Are they watching the TV?”

You get my gist.

So look. To be fair, it really isn’t you. It’s just me.

I’m just not made for you. You don’t float my boat. We are never going to be a communications love story but I guess well,  we can be reluctant friends.

I’m sorry for the times I’ve ignored you or let you ring and ring. Truly I am. There’s nothing worse than being ignored, we all know that.

But hopefully now we understand each other a little better. You will know that I’ll answer you when I feel like it and make one of you when needs must.

Perhaps you may even take comfort in that whenever I need you or whenever someone really needs me, I will be there, to pick up. But for other times? Well let’s just face facts, I will probably avoid you like the plague. Don’t take it personally though. Remember what I’ve said.

There is of course, one exception to the rule. Times when me and you can and will get along just fine.

And that is, if you come from one of my loved ones.

Hearing the familiar, warm tones of people I love and adore, will always be ok in my book, so when it comes to calls from those I love,  you have my permission to go and knock yourself out.

Just keep yourself to a minimum ey? You know how I don’t like all that ringing.

With love,



Am I the only person to hate talking on the phone? Do you hate phone calls as much as me and if so why?! Would love to hear your thoughts!

With love (and pouts)






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25 Discussions on
“A letter to phone calls: Why I hate speaking on the phone”
  • Yes, totally agree! I fear phone calls, I find them awkward because you are missing all the other elements of a conversation, facial expression, eye contact, etc. That said, you get even less of this in written communication as you can’t hear the intonation in a voice – so maybe that’s not my reason afterall!

    Also I like to multitask and you can’t do that especially on a mobile phone (it just doesn’t tuck under the chin conveniently!)

    So you are not alone – and I was having the exact same (face to face) conversation with another friend the other day, she was of the same opinion!

    H x

  • As a teen and in my early twenties I love, love, loved talking on the phone. But then texting appeared, following on from emails and then we had social media and suddenly I wanted to write to my friends or see them, but not talk to them on the phone anymore. I now barely speak on the phone at all and that suits me just fine thank you :-) x

  • Exactly the same here! I find it much easier to talk to someone in person, or even by writing things down. In a face-to-face conversation you can explain things better, and read someones body language to change the subject etc and at least in an email you can read it over and over before you send to check how it comes across. I don’t mind calls from family and close friends – especially ones that don’t live nearby. But now with the joy that is facetime/skype – I can see them whenever I want! xx

  • I am no good at talking on the phone. And I absolutely hate making phone calls. I get ridiculously nervous about calling anyone. I won’t even phone up for pizza. It’s crazy I know but I much prefer talking face to face and if I can email someone I definitely will.

  • I’m so glad it’s not just me – I’ve never liked talking on the phone either. I’m also fiercely independent and like my space and while it’s lovely when people call, there are times when I don’t pick up because, well, I just don’t feel like talking. Plus like you say the pauses can be weird. I can also get nervous talking on the phone – it’s like I forget everything in my head – very strange. Texts and emails are good because you can think about how you want to express yourself and both you and the recipient are free to respond whenever is convenient. Best of all, though, is a face-to-face conversation – body language and eye contact – and a good natter with a friend, preferably over a glass of wine is always good (and something I don’t do often enough). Phew, that was a long comment! :-) xxx

    • It may have been long but it is good Leigh! Thank you – in fact thank you ALL – for making me feel like I’m not a total weirdo! :-) x

  • Love this! My phone rarely rings. Oh it beeps, buzzes and vibrates plenty, but actual ringing? Not so much. In fact if it ever does ring, properly, you’ll probably find me staring at it quizzically wondering what’s going on. But I’m with you – chats with family are to be savoured like a good wine :)

    • Haha! Crazy isn’t it Michelle, that our phones aren’t really used as phones but mini computers that are hotbeds of furious text communication! x

  • God I hate phonecalls too! It stems from my mum telling me as a child never to answer the phone in case it was a murderer, then he would know we were home!! Talk about putting the fear of god into me or what? But now at the age of 30 I still flinch when the phone rings. If hubby is home then he has to answer. Thank goodness for caller ID otherwise I would never answer! #brillblogposts

    • Wow Vicki! Finally we have someone who loves making and receiving calls. I can see why you would love it but think I’ll stick to texting and tweeting ;-) xxx

  • You are definitely not alone! I avoid talking on the phone as much as possible unless its my Mum or Husband, I much prefer emailing and texting! In the past I’ve not used a company/business for something if the only way I can get hold of them is by phone, I am scared (such a wuss) of having to ring someone I don’t know and arrange for them to give me a quote, email addresses only please!

  • Always hated them, I think email and social media are amazing because I sound better in the written word! I like having time to consider my answer. So glad others feel the same!

  • So I’m not alone? Hallelujah! Hubby thinks I’m bonkers, but I try to avoid phone calls like a dog who knows he’s going to the vets. I have to script calls for work, and hate telephone banking with a passion. No idea why, am happy to talk face to face to people, and have no problem with emails, texts. I think it must be to do with the lack of visual cues. You can read body language when face to face, and can read ahead /re-read with emails. Well, that’s my story …

  • I’m with you on that one! I hate speaking on the phone. I have ever since I was a child! I remember running from my mum who was trying to get me to talk to an aunt on the phone when I was very little!! I don’t know why I don’t like speaking on phones?? I guess it’s because there is nothing at all to fill the silent gaps. I don’t like silent gaps in conversation, I get nervous then say something silly!
    I’ve taught myself over the years to get over the hatred a bit, but if I have a choice I would never speak on the phone! And don’t get me started on answer machines!!! #BrillBlogPosts

  • I am completely with you, I hate the phone and find it scary even though that makes me feel ridiculous! Many of your reasons above match my own reasons too and it is great to read I am not the only phone hater out there! Xx #allaboutyou

  • Haha love this post!! I feel the same, although it’s not always been this way, I used to love chatting on the phone… nowadays I only even pick the thing up to my bestest friends, or important calls. It probably doesn’t help that my kids hate (and I mean seriously hate) me using the phone. I much prefer email xx #allaboutyou

  • This post really made me LOL. I loathe speaking on the phone, absolutely hate it. I don’t know what comes over me. I’m perfectly fluent in face-to-face conversation, a bit of a chatterbox even but hand me that receiver and I completely clam up. It’s absurd.

    I hate when my phone rings, don’t know why but I automatically think it’s someone calling with bad news. Thank goodness for text/email/social media! Glad I’m not the only one. Great post! Maria x

  • I hate phonecalls too! The reason? My mum told me never to answer the phone as a murderer might call, find out I am home and then come to kill me. THANKS MUM!!! So now I hate answering, not that I think that will happen but it is so ingrained in me now!

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